The Daily Grind

Family Update!

2011-08-15T12:02:00.000-04:00

So I feel like I have blinked and the summer is gone. I am now in the process of trying to buy school clothes (online cause who has time for shopping) school supplies (online as well) and get the family ready for the annual beach vacation. All the while still plugging away at the day job and running when I can!

So for an update on the kids, the last time I had an update was when my Budding Thespian was in the school rendition of Hansel and Gretel, which was back in May! Since then the older 2 children have completed 3rd and 1st grades spent numerous hours in the pool perfecting their swimming strokes as well as their dives. They both had a great time participating on our local swim club's swim and dive teams and we equally enjoyed watching them hone their crafts!

Here you can see some of their dive expertise!

The summer was also full of Swim and dive pep rallys 2 of which were really really fun for the family the first was the July 4th Red White and Blue pep really as you can see here the kids take this very seriously!

Second was the watermelon / pie smashing contest Again lots of fun to be had by all and the kids loved pieing their coaches.

We have also taken a couple of trips to Great Wolf Lodge In Williamsburg VA, the kids could not get enough of the water slides all 3 had to be drug form the water park even at closing time. The kids received a long distance visit from New Zealand, Abby our former aupair and honorary family member came to visit for a week.

Finally, the kids have been really lucky to have a super sitter all summer who has helped them keep up with their school work but also squeeze in some fun between school and swim/dive practice.

Not a bad summer if you ask me!

In Training

2011-08-10T10:00:00.002-04:00

I am in week 2 of my Runners World Marathon training and it is going well, of course it is, because I have yet to get to the mega mileage portion of the training. However, I am really getting excited and I am staring to fell that cloud of uncertainty lift. I will of course be nervous all the way up to the point I cross the start line but it is palatable now then it was just 2 weeks ago.
I will provide update on my journey but I am not going to solely dedicate my blog to it either. So maybe if I can I will update once a week.
Stay tuned for the family update! (it's been too long since I posted about them.

Army Ten Miller……has put me back on track……

2011-06-22T16:56:00.000-04:00

And its a good thing seeing how I have a very busy Fall race

season! Memorial day weekend I had hernia surgery and it knocked me on my butt.
I really thought I would have surgery on Thursday and be out for a run on Sunday….
boy did I oversimplify that!

It took me a good 2 weeks to get to a place where I felt I could
run without feeling as though my guts were going to fall out.

Now I am back in the groove thanks to the package I received

yesterday! Behold, my Army Ten Miler in training shirt.

I have always wanted to do the Army Ten Miler, first because I have a huge respect for

our military men and women. Second, I am married to an Army Man and third, to prove I can!

Shopping.........ugh

2011-06-16T11:11:00.001-04:00

When I was off in April for my annual spring cleaning, I also did a little spring shopping. I love to go to outlet malls. I am a man’s dream when it comes to shopping. When I head out to the mall I know what I need/want, I walk into a store look around if I see something I need/like I grab it if not I pass by without so much as a second look within 15 minutes I am on the next store. I do not like to “peruse” or “shop” while shopping.
My Mom and I use to shop together from the time I was a little kid to adulthood. I remember as a little kid being drug from store to store. We might hit 3 groceries stores on a Saturday….why you may ask. Well because my mom was a bargain shopper, she had to be being a single parent with no other means of support. So we would get the milk that was on sale at one store the canned food that was on sale at another and maybe the meat at yet another place. Unlike me, my mom didn’t go into stores knowing “I need these things” she knew she needed certain things but would still “shop” so up and down each aisle it didn’t matter if it was K-mart, The grocery store or a clothing store we would cover every square inch of the place. It was a sport for her.It wasn’t until I had kids I that I began to realize just what a sport or hobby it was for her. I just always viewed it as annoying. When my children came along my mom would buy arms full of clothes and give it to them as gifts for Christmas, their birthday and any other holiday in between. I use to tell her “stop spending your money” because I worried, she was spending way too much on them and not doing enough for herself. She would always say I find things on sale I pick through racks; you let me worry about what I spend. She enjoyed getting a deal! Before mom died, she sent me to the closet in her guest bedroom, it was early August, and in there she told me to look for a blue bag. In it was Jackson’s birthday gift (his birthday is 8/23) not only was the blue bag in there but several other bags overflowing with stuff for the kids, shorts, shirts, dresses, toys and stuffed animals. Mom hadn’t been shopping since at least June 19th as she didn’t go out alone after diagnosis. So this “stuff” had been there for quite some time because she had bargain bought the season prior for the kids so she could provide arm loads of stuff to them. This was the way she showed her love, to them and to me, thoroughly enjoyed buying and giving us things. I can honestly say my mom pretty much clothed my kids. So in April, needing go shopping for the kids for the first time in a real way, I’m talking all new shorts all new shirts shoes etc. I took my time and went to the outlet mall and found every bargain I could  I am sure was not as skilled as she was at the craft but I did do my best as my trunk can attest to.

While shopping I was shocked at the types of clothes out there for kids, t-shirts with inappropriate sayings for little boys, dresses for my toddler that a 20 something woman should wear and then the kicker were these………

I don’t consider myself a prude but these shorts didn’t seem appropriate for my 9 year old let alone an 18 year old. Heck, even if I had the body I don’t know that I would be wearing these.
I see a lot more shopping in my future and I will do my best to channel some of my mom’s strengths bargain shopping and holding her ground when she said no! Because when I am asked to buy the shorts above the answer will be NO!

To write or not write…

2011-06-01T12:23:00.000-04:00

So when I first started this blog is was a fun novel thing
to do, it was the “in” thing to do with respect to social media. Well for me it
evolved into a number of things.

First, I have met some amazing people who have provided
incredible advise over the years some of which has helped me in more ways than
I can explain.

Second, it has allowed me to express myself without fear. Sure I make typos and grammatical errors, but never was I being judged. I wasable to release my thoughts without “seeing” someone's reaction and that felt
freeing to me.

As some of you may know I lost my mom in August to cancer,
it was rather quick and an intense time in my life. It opened a Pandora’s box
of sorts with respect to my feelings and emotions about my mom and our
relationship. I have toyed (only in my head) with the idea of writing a
book. I have a title already

“A mothers love….the good, the bad and the ugly”

I want to write this as a way to get all my feelings out and express them my way instead
of the way I have for so many years which is to bottle it up. Don’t ask me where I will find time; I consistently take on way too much at one time. However, I think this is something I just need to
do. The “book" may never see the light of day but it may be the therapy the Dr ordered.

Running a mental and physical game….

2011-05-03T21:14:00.000-04:00

So I have not been training like a good runner should. I have put on 7 lbs and I have not taken great care of my body. So I decided that starting the 1st of May I would get my butt back in gear.

I , however will be smart about it. I have run 4 Half’s in a matter of a year as well as many other small 10 and 5k’s. What I have not done is train the way I should for all my races. I vowed that 2011 would be my year to focus on me and my running and hopefully take it to the next level.

About 3 weeks ago, I realized I was 4 months into 2011 and not living up to my vow. So what do I do? I sing up for my first Marathon! What better way to get my butt in gear right?

The day after I signed up, I freaked out, what the heck did I do? I have never even attempted 26.2 and now I am signed up to run it?!

So Monday started my long journey back to distance running. I am starting slow and I am going to mix in some cross training and weights. Yesterday I did 2 miles and a bunch of arm and leg work, today I did 2.5 miles. Slow but steady I will get there.

So sit back and enjoy my ride, I guarantee it will be a wild, fun, emotional, exhilarating all at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!

Budding Thespian?

2011-05-02T06:18:00.000-04:00

From an early age my oldest has always loved music, she
loves to sing and dance but mostly sing.

Last year, she had an interest to try out of the school
play. Having heard many a parent go on and on about how time consuming the play
was I made a parental decision to not have her try out for the play. My thought
was I have a hard enough time getting her to and from school and activities
like CCD and Soccer how on earth will I manage that too? So we conveniently
missed tryouts. (I felt horrible for weeks)

This year try outs came along and both of my older children
tried out. Only Lauren was accepted (not a fun couple nights at the dinner
table thanks Mr. Director!) Practice was twice a week and wasn’t too bad. Then what
I like to refer to as hell week hit. Practice everyday at the high school from
4:30 to 7:30! Ugh!!!! Add that to Soccer CCD and Schoolwork well, it is a
recipe for a huge melt down!

Lauren handled everything beautifully! She was able to
juggle soccer and school work though the morning were a bit rough as she is not
a morning person and she moves at a snails pace.

She had invited all of our neighbors, her grandparents and
even teachers to come see her in her acting debut as a cupcake in Hansel and
Gretel.

She was fully of smiles and humming her song all the time.

The night of the first show I was nervous for her, would she
remember the songs would she freeze on stage, would her costume stay on? No
need to worry she was cool as cucumber! Mom was enough of a wreck for both of us!

Can’t wait to see what next years play is…and this time she
will get to try out for speaking roles!!

Everyone loves a wedding!

2011-04-29T15:39:00.000-04:00

So this morning at 5:20 am I and people around world tuned in for the Royal Wedding. I do vividly recall watching Williams Mother Marry Prince Charles nearly 30 years ago on July 29, 1981. The date is easy to remember because it was my mother’s birthday. I recall being up early to watch and also being glued to the TV so as not to miss a moment of the coverage since there was no such thing as TiVo or DVR.

Today was for me wonderful and a bit bittersweet. It was wonderful to see 2 very happy people exchange vows and cement their lives together for all their loved ones (and a good bit of the world) to see. IN a strange way I felt a kinship to Kate as I remember being the bride who found her Price charming and simply wanted all the people I knew and loved to witness our pledge of love to one another. Regardless if you are royalty or girl from Alexandria VA the sense of calm, peace, excitement and jubilation all at one time is the same. The bittersweet part for me was watching with my kids and building some of the same memories I had with my mother. I miss my mom so much, and events such as today bring back the good memories of my childhood and my life with her.

I was tickled when my 6 year old Jackson kept asking “are they going to kiss, are they going to kiss?” He was giddy with excitement as they did it not once but twice for the entire world to see. My 9 year old was staring at the dress, the veil and of course the tiara. I told her “see one day that could be you” and the beauty is it truly one day will be her, maybe not on that grand of a scale, but hopefully with the same grace and poise shown by Kate and William today.

Spring Cleaning

2011-04-27T18:32:00.000-04:00

Usually every April I take a week off and stay home so I can

purge our family of all the crap we have collected throughout the year. Now

that isn’t to say I don’t do this all year as well but there is something about

being able to spend days not hours cleaning stuff.

I am strange I know but I LOVE the sense of accomplishment I

feel when I finishing cleaning and organizing something.

Thus far this week I have:

Cleaned our office (books and papers Purged)
Transformed the back deck from a winter mess to a spring haven (if you can tell me how to get rid of pollen I am all ears)
Done 6 loads of laundry
Cleaned my clothes closet and thinned out my shoe rack
Organized all the kids closets and clothes
Cleaned the garage

I still have stuff left to do but most of that is the fun

stuff like going shopping for the kids new spring/summer clothes, seeing

friends for lunch, watching the royal wedding and relaxing a bit.

After a week of this I may be ready to go back to work!

The Disney Princess Half Marathon (DPHM) weekend.…… yes I know it's late!!!

2011-04-26T15:18:00.000-04:00

It’s been awhile and as promised, I have pictures and a recap from The Disney Princess Half Marathon (DPHM) weekend.……

First, I have to send a huge shout out to my husband for encouraging me to go do this even though I was leaving him alone with all the kids for 2 days.

I left on a Friday night with a plane full of ladies on their way to run the DPHM the mood was happy even though we were a good hour late taking off.

I arrived at my hotel around 9pm that evening …I was starving so I did what any good runner would do (not...) I hopped over to McDonalds which was right across the way from my hotel. I devoured a quarter pounder with cheese and only ate a handful of fries and sipped my powerade.

My Bed when I arrived

Soon I realized I needed to get to bed as I had a race to run in the am...No not the DPHM but instead my version of the Goofy. I was going to run in the Royal family 5K on Saturday morning then the DPHM on Sunday.

The Royal family 5k was packed; there were kid’s adults and even a few grandparents all there ready to tackle the 5K that would take you through Epcot.

I had camera in hand and was ready to stop and snap my picture with as many characters as I could. I also found myself somehow very close to the front of the starting line which is not usually, where I start a race.

The countdown begins and we were off… I was going well faster than my normal 10 p/m pace. I was soon in Epcot ready for my photo ops. I would dash to a princess get my picture taken then sprint to the next princess. My finish time was 27:14 that my friends equates to an 8:46 p/m! Holy smokes!!!

Disney Royal Family 5K

Snow White!

Sprinting to the finish of the Royal Family 5k

I headed back to the hotel to shower and then head to the expo where I would pick up my DPHM race packet and do some serious runner shopping.

Once completely shopped out I headed to the store for my water and my powerade to ensure I was properly hydrated for my race. I then headed back to the hotel and chilled the rest of Saturday afternoon.

That however was a big mistake!! I was WIDE AWAKE at 9pm then 10pm then 11pm. Did I mention I had a 3:30 wakeup call? Yes 3:30 because race is in sunny FL they want to be sure you are not beat down by the blistering heat. So at 4am I boarded a bus with my fellow Princesses to head to the start line.

While standing in line for the bus I met a few folks and walked with them to the start. It helped soothe the jitters that I always seem to have at these races you would think after 4 of these I would not be nervous.

I was in corral B yes B not Z which is where I am for most of my other races. The fireworks went off and corral B was off. The first mile is always tough because you are trying to find a spot and stick to it not easy when you and 13,000 of your closest friends are all headed to the same finish line!

In January 2010, I participated in Disney’s marathon weekend and ran my first half the whole time I questioned if I would finish and gutted my way to the finish line. This time I wanted to enjoy the ride instead of just gutting it out. By mile 3, I was still wondering if I could finish this. My goal this time around was to not struggle to finish but instead enjoy the race and enjoy the race I did!!! My time was 2:22:15 a full 14 minute faster than my last time, and that was with all my pits stops as you will see below!! Great time, Great race I love Disney!!!!!

Sleeping beauty and the prince

All the Disney men :)

Gotta love a guy in uniform

I was Mrs Incredible that weekend

Looking good around mile 6

Finished!!!

Disney Princess Half Marathon is only 9 days away………..

2011-02-18T07:02:00.003-05:00

Last year after running my first ever half marathon at Disney in what I would later be described as epic conditions. I decided that I wanted to run more races and that my next Disney race would be the Disney Princess Half Marathon. Well I am happy to say I am headed back to Disney to don my tiara and running shoes!

I am much less nervous for this Disney race compared to last! I have 3 half under my belt and I have been coached by the best coaches around Steve (my life and running yoda) and Bart Yasso.
My last half earned me a PR of 2:18, nearly 18 minutes faster than that cold icy day in January when even Mickey and Minnie weren’t’ so happy J I attribute that time to the training plan by Bart and the editors at Runners world, as well as to the support provided by them prior to and on race day.
I would like to hope I can once again improve my time, injuries my not allow for that, but this time around I plan to enjoy the ride instead of just trying to hold on till the ride is over.
I will be sure to do a post race recap so stay tuned!!!!

Jamaica in December…..

2011-02-16T13:57:00.000-05:00

I highly recommend it! My husband and I decided back in the summer that once our lives started to resemble normal again that we would take some time to relax and enjoy each other something we haven’t done much of in the recent months.

We spoke with my in-laws in September and asked if they would be willing to come watch the kids for a week. They accepted!

So Dec 5th to the 10th my hubby and I headed out on a vacation, just the 2 of us no kids! We haven’t done that in 10 years. We had an early morning flight to Miami then connected to our flight to Jamaica. At 8am we were in the Miami airport enjoying what would be the first of many adult beverages (we were having bloody Mary’s to start). We arrive in Jamaica and proceeded to the lounge to await our transport to our hotel. Of course, Red Stripe beer was served to us J

Once we arrived at the hotel (an hour and a half ride), we were greeted by a bell man serving drinks to welcome us. We checked in a proceeded to our room. Room was nice we had a good view. We were beat from the 4am wake up call to get to the airport on time and decided to take a nap. Dinner was uneventful and we headed right back to bed with our full tummies and still tired bodies.

Our first night!

The next morning I was up and ready to hit the beach armed with my sunscreen and book off I went I did nothing but sip fruity drinks and read my book (Bart Yasso’s My life on the run). Day 2 was pretty much the same. But then came dinner day 2. My husband was not impressed with the service or the food and tried his best to keep it to himself but he had finally had enough. He wanted to move resorts!

So the next morning I packed up all the bags and proceeded to waste my morning waiting on transportation to our new location. Hubby lost out; because this was the morning, I was planning to head to the nude beach to take care of those tan lines. Instead, I was packing and sitting in the lobby watching everyone else have fun. So yes, I was pouting like a baby!

Again, another hour and a half in the car, but this time it was worth it. We were greeted by friendly smiles and loads of customer service. The resort even upgraded us free to a suite that was the size of a small apartment! I soon got over my doom and gloom from the morning. The next day was a bit rainy but still full of fun and relaxing. It was also full of food!

The jerk center served traditional Jamaican food every day for lunch I had jerk chicken rice and peas and corn on the cob. Ms. Keisha, the cook at the jerk center took great care of us and fed us well. Stephen our waiter was wonderful and never let our drinks go dry. I guess that explains the 6lbs I put on while there :)

Drinks on the beach!

Keisha who kept me fat and happy :)

Our final day was good we sat by the pool sipped drinks and took in all the people watching we could. I was having quite the time coming up with stories to my husband about the people we saw. I swear he thinks I am a bit looney but it was entertaining.

As we pulled away from our hotel the bellmen and a number of staff waved goodbye to us as we pulled out of the driveway. My husband even came home a wrote a review on trip advisor! Check it out here.

We arrived home late Friday night and the next morning we were greeted by happy kids! It was a great get away and just what we needed to recharge our batteries! I highly recommend it to any married couple especially one with kids!

2011 Running Schedule

2011-02-05T08:37:00.000-05:00

So I find I do best with my running, that is I stay consistent in my training, if I have a race to train for. So I decided this year to actually plan out my 2011 races. Below is my 2011 Race Schedule not only do I have it plastered on my wall at the office but I have also now put it out here for all the world to see, and well also to have you check on me to make sure I am doing what I am supposed to.

If any of you who read my blog will be participating in these races let me know, I would love to meet you!
Happy Running!!

2011 Running Schedule

Feb 27th- Disney Princess Half

March- 13th St Patrick's Day 8k

April 10th- GW Parkway Classic 10 miler

May-15th Fredricksburg Historic Half - This could also be a relay event with hubby
June 4th- Race for the cure 5K

Sept 4th VA beach rock and Roll Half

Oct 2nd Wilson Bridge Half

Nov- Phila Marathon

Updates and stuff

2010-12-28T06:17:00.000-05:00

So I seem to average oh a posting a month not a good thing for the Bloggy world. Life has been busy as usual, seems that one time consuming event leads to another in my life.

Since September, I have been working like crazy, as I was promoted to AVP and now head up all of the operations areas. I enjoy the challenge and it has kept me busy, sometimes a little too busy. I find myself bring work home in the evening or staying late to catch and keep up. I think things are starting to smooth out though and I am looking forward to a productive 2011 on the work front.

I have handled most moms’ estate and there is very little left to do. I do still have a large amount of personal items (letters, card, keepsakes) from over the years that I have yet to bring myself to go through. Maybe later this winter I will get to them.

Work has been a huge distraction with respect to me dealing with the loss of my mom. In some ways, I feel as though I did the obligatory duties (funeral, legal paper work, and dealing with the house) but I realized I still haven’t let out all my emotions with regard to my mom’s passing. More on that to come….

I am still running and loving it, I have mentally mapped out my race schedule for 2011 now I need to get it on paper and stick to it. 2011 may be my year to take on the Marathon. I am still debating if I am ready for that challenge.

In December, Dan and I took a much needed vacation without kids! My in-laws were sweet enough to babysit all 3 kids and I am happy to say everyone survived. More to come on that topic as well…..

The kids had a wonderful Christmas and they were very happy with all of Santa’s loot. Even little Izzy was excited. However, I am already looking forward to next year when she has a better understanding of what is going on. Here they are Christmas Morning. As you can see they have all grown quite a bit since my last pictures of them in MAY!

I hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas and that 2011 is your best year yet. I will be posting a bit more regularly, I missed the blog interaction, and I do believe it is a great form of therapy.

Cheers!

Running with Runners World and the Runners World Challenge!

2010-11-23T20:36:00.000-05:00

Running has become a passion; I am more in love with running each race I run. At first running was a means to an end that is, at first I did it to lose weight , then I did it to cope with life and most recently I ran to escape the pain of losing my mom.

NO MORE!

I now run because I enjoy it, I run because it is fun, I run because it gives me a sense of accomplishment!

2 weeks ago, I took part in the Runners World Challenge; Runner’s World magazine invites runners of all levels to join them at several races over the year. Prior to the event, you are provided with a training program based on your level and desired race performance. You are also given the opportunity to communicate directly with Runners world editors and fellow challengers via forums. Over the course of 10 weeks or 25 depending on the race distance you select you begin to interact on a regular basis with people just like you. All come from various backgrounds and running levels but we are all there for one thing…that is to succeed in our upcoming race.

So you’re thinking, big deal how is this any different than a running club or any other online chat forum. Well I can tell you first hand it is so much more. I signed up for the challenge at a time when I thought I would be in a position to really embrace the training. Life decided otherwise or at least I thought it did. One day feeling quiet down and ready to pack it in a not participate I decided to post as such on the RW forum. The response was so overwhelmingly positive I felt compelled to charge on. I continued to post and train albeit not as regularly as I would have liked. Each time I made a post, I had either RW editors or complete strangers holding me up saying you can do it. I decided to participate, I thought it would be worth the price of admission for the pre and post race perks and to meet in person Bart Yasso, the mayor of running and Chief Running officer of RW.

So here we were the week before the race and I am feeling good, like things are going my way and I will be able to compete. I am excited to meet the Experts and other participants of my same running ability. I decide to send an email to Bart so as not to make a complete fool of myself when I meet him in person. In my email I share with him the struggles of the last year and how running has played a part in my healing and coping process. I also shared I was ready for running to be more I was ready to embrace it as fun not just a way to deal with life.

Friday night before the race and I am sitting in a meeting room at the Omni Hotel with my fellow challengers getting a briefing on the course, being introduced to others and listing to the editors, to include Bart, impart their wisdom and humor.

I go to my hotel room that night ready to take on the challenge, the jitters are there but they are jitters in a good way, if that is possible. I lay out all my clothes, I pin on my bib number, I double check that I have my ear buds, iPod and Garmin watch. Then it hits me. I didn’t sync up my iPod with the Richmond Half playlist I had created….WHAT DO I DO NOW???? You would have thought I had left my running shoes at home. I figured out a solution to my music delema, I set my alarm clock and made a call to the front desk for a wakeup call. It is now 9pm and it is lights out.

I lay there wide awake at 2am nervous, what if I fall asleep and don’t hear the alarm? What if the front desk doesn’t call for my wakeup call? What if I can’t finish the race? What the hell have I gotten myself into? I put my head down and doze for 40 minutes; up again this time I think need to hydrate, I grab my water bottle a pound 8ozs of water. Then I think well I need some electrolytes too, I guzzle the Gatorade.

Again I lay my head back down it is now 4:30am I am so wide awake and it is pointless for me to sleep. I get up get dressed and tinker around on the computer, people post interesting things on face book at 4:30 on a Saturday morning!

It’s time …I leave my room head to my car and make the 7mile drive to the host hotel. There I watch others like me mulling around. My husband calls, we chat while I walk to the starting line. I reach the National Theater and see the Runners World Challenge flags and my stomach does belly flops. “What the hell have you sign up for here Whalen?” I think. I go inside where I am greeted by Jenn Van Allen an editor at RW she is bright eyed and smiling “How ya doing?” tired ,nervous didn’t sleep well I say. She points to the bathroom and the food, I look for a place to sit my stuff and enjoy the warmth of being inside, and I pace my fluid intake so I can plan my inside bathroom break to just prior to start time.

I strike up a conversation with a woman by the name of Trisha, she is running the half like I am and has a goal of under 3 hours. Cool someone of my speed I think. We chat about the event where we have run before.

It is about 10 minutes to the start of the half and I grab my opportunity to get a picture with running loyalty. Bart is gracious and lets me snap a picture, what happens next blew me away.

Bart says “Stephanie, right” yes I reply “Stephanie Whalen” He then goes on to say “I read your email, actually read it twice, I am sorry about your mom and you will do great today” he may have said more but I was in shock so I didn’t get it all, he then gives me a hug. I am about to burst into tears! I lost my mom a mere 3 months ago I am dedicating this race to her and this man who gets hundreds if not thousands of emails a week makes a personal connection with me.

Bart Yasso and me before the Richmond Half Marathon

I keep it together, I turn in my bag and Bart is on stage getting everyone revved up and he says “See you at the Finish Stephanie” and gives me a thumbs up. I proceed to the door to the start line, when Jenn who is well aware of the emotional journey that has gotten me here gives me a big hug and said have a good race and have fun, at this point I was trying to keep my composure and not bawl like a baby. Trisha whom I met earlier, and I head to our starting waves I wish her luck and get in the pack of wave 4 starters.

The first couple miles were a blur; I had so many things rushing around in my head, did Bart Yasso really address me personally? Wasn’t Jenn sweet to give me a hug? Why the hell am I doing this? Am I going to be able to make it? Before I know it I am at mile 4 and I am settling in nicely, I have found my pace and my space. I am not franticly looking at my watch, I am simply running and taking this entire race in.

Not really sure who this guy is, it looks like we were battling each other :)

I get to the 10k mark (6.2 miles) I am running what has the makings of a PR and I feel great. I keep going, taking in the amazingly supportive people of Richmond who yell out to me “keep running challenger” or “you’re looking good Steph” (my name was on my bib).

Who ever thought I would smile and wave during a run!

I get to the spot where wet washcloths were to be giving out , mile 10 I believe and there is not a fresh one to be had. Now if I was looking for dirty, salty, trampled washcloth I could have had my pick of the litter. I won’t lie my spirit was a bit broken I was looking forward to a cool facial wipe down. I was starting to drag and needed a pick me up. I get to the next water stop and need to take a walking break. At this point, I look at my watch and realize holy crap I am well ahead of my PR time. I start saying to myself “you can do this you are stronger than you know” I think I said this for the next 3 miles. However at the end of the race I couldn’t remember what it was I was saying to myself it came back to me about a day later.

I start to run again albeit at a slower pace but I am moving and I plan to keep moving till I hit the finish line. Between miles 11 and 12.5, I had a couple more walk breaks but nothing more than 90 seconds I had to beat my PR.

I round the last corner where you hear the crowd saying "it’s all downhill” they were right and off I went. I pulled out my ear buds and for the first time ever in a race I let the crowd take me to the finish line.

I crossed the finish line in 2:18:23! I am overwhelmed, I not only beat my PR of 2:34:06 I shattered it! In my mind, I had a PR of 20 min, where I cam eup with that math I will never know I think I was delirious. It was really less than that, but that realization didn’t hit me till I got back to the hotel and got a shower.

Me sprinting to the finish!

I make my way to the Runners World Challengers reception where I was greeting by applause as well questions How was it? How do you feel? I found my bag and called my husband who was floored by my time. I waiting for my massage (wonderful by the way) and I dined on peanut butter and banana sandwiches, water and power aide. It was heaven!!!

The marathoners started to come in and it was so enjoyable to see the high fives and the pats on the back for a job well done. I realized the wave of marathon finishers was coming and I decided I better head to the hotel and get cleaned up so I could head home. I said good bye to Jenn and thanked her for everything, she encouraged me to stay in touch.

Monday Morning I am headed to work when my Blackberry chimes that I have a facebook message. It’s Bart Yasso, sending me a message to congratulate me on my 16 minute PR and letting me know how proud he was of me and my time. He also wrote of how my mom was a part of my success and to know that she was at peace. He then offered up his contact information, should I ever have questions.

I must say this was just the most amazing weekend! I am determined now to do a marathon and I will be doing it with the Runners World Challenge but not for the reasons you might think, sure the VIP treatment is the great, but the camaraderie runners show to one another is amazing!!!

Are you there blogger it’s me Steph.......

2010-10-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

Please stay with me as I fast forward and rewind all in the same post. It is important for me to get all of this out on paper (even if it is virtual paper) so I can hopefully start the healing process but never forget what a strong person my mother was and the strong person she had let me become.

Fast Forward: Sadly, my mom passed away 8/16/10 after bravely batting endometrial cancer which had mets to her lungs and brain.

Rewind: The last time I wrote I consumed with dealing with moms cancer the dreaded meeting with Hospice. We had the meeting with Hospice and things seemed to be looking up they would be there at least once a week to check mom’s vitals and perform her needed lab work so she would not need to leave the house which was becoming more difficult for both of us. Her from a physical stand point and me from a logistical standpoint.

My mother’s Birthday came on the 29th of July, and while she wasn’t too interested in celebrating, I tried my best to make it a happy day. I had given her an iPod earlier in the month which I loaded up with her favorite songs and pictures of the grandkids so she could have music during her chemo treatments and show of her grand kids which she loved to do. These days food was not at the top of her list and while I wanted to bake her a cake I didn’t even try because I knew in some respects it would just upset her.

During the next couple days to follow her birthday she seemed to be doing a bit better, she was eating more than she had in a few weeks and she was still able to do small things for herself around the house. I was becoming used to the routine of working from her house on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s 9my work from home days and stopping by before or after work on the other days. We had fallen into a new normal.

The Morning of August 3rd I was sitting at my computer I was finishing the sync of my iPod so I could go for my morning run when the phone rang it was 5:08 am the exact time 38 years ago that I was born. My mother used to call me some years at the exact time of my birth to be the first to wish me a happy birthday; she hadn’t done it in years so it was a pleasant surprise when the phone rang. I picked up only to hear a sense of desperation in my mom’s voice “come now, I need you now” I asked her what was wrong but she refused to tell me only saying I needed to get there now.

I quickly got in my car and headed to her house to find her lying on the floor of her bedroom, she had fallen out of bed and was unable to get herself back up. My thought at the time was that she had exhausted herself trying and finally gave up till she was able to get enough strength to reach the phone and call. I helped her up no easy task as mom was not a small lady. I got her settled and she assured me she was fine just really tried. I encouraged her to no go downstairs the rest of the day and that I would call her while I was at work to check on her. I went on to work and while there Hospice called to check on things unaware of what had happened in the am. I shared with them my concerns and they offered to send a nurse out to check on my mom. I could no longer concentrate at work so I left to be with mom.

When I arrived, she was in bed and shocked to see me back so soon, I told her I was worried about her and that Hospice was coming to just make sure she was ok. She was furious with me. She let me have it up one side down the other, telling me she didn’t want them in her home and that she was not going to be taken out of her home. I assured her nothing of the sort would happen but she was still not happy. The Hospice nurse came and checked her out. She was fine but she was very concerned for my mother’s safety moving forward she suggested moving my mom to the main level of her town house which would then allow her to stay on one floor and reduce the possibility for falls which could be deadly down the stairs. Mom refused; once the nurse was gone, she again laid into me for calling them. All of this was bearable for me however; I knew things had taken a drastic change for my mom because during the entire course of the day it never occurred to my mom that today was my birthday. This was sad on many levels for me, my mom was always the one I could count on through good or bad that would never forget my day and always made me feel special. Not that day :(

Over the next several days, I found my mom in various states to include on the floor in her office, one the floor in her room and sitting on the toilet to which she claimed to have been sitting on for 5 hours. It was crystal clear I could no longer leave her alone for long periods of time and after much debate and arguing I brought in a home health care aide to care for my mother. The aide did a good job but she was no match for my mom who was as stubborn as they come. The aide called me at least 2 times a day to ask for help or ask me to talk to my mother. By this point, I was at my mom’s house before and after work as well as all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

The hospice team brought an army on Aug 10th to meet with my mom it included the Dr. a social worker and mom’s regular nurse. This was the first time the dr. was seeing my mom and the news from him was not good he felt she now required 24hr care and that she was within 3 to 5 weeks of her passing. I was crushed, how was I supposed to relay this? How was I supposed to sell my mom on 24hr care? As it was I was barely seeing my own family and I wasn’t sure I could handle what 24hr care required. By this point mom had become increasingly unable to control her bowels and was becoming less and less herself and more and more combative. I talked with my husband and we agreed that I needed help ad we hired a 24hr caregiver. The care giver started on the 12th of August and she was the perfect match for my mom she would not put up with her nonsense but she was also very compassionate and caring and took care of all my mom’s personal needs which I was unable to do. I feel horrible saying that but it became too much to try and change and bathe my mom and I was overwhelmed with emotion each time I did.

Friday August 13th – Dan had arranged for the priest from my mom’s local parish to visit we felt it was better to do this now while mom was still doing well. He visited with her for over an hour and preformed last rites or what is now known as the sacrament of the sick. I felt it was early for this as the Dr said we were 3 to 5 weeks away but in hindsight, I am glad Dan made that call.

Saturday August 14th I stayed the entire day with my mom all day I laid in bed with her and we talked and she held my hand at one point I told her “I love you” she said “I love you more” to which I answered “I love you mostest” and then she spread her arms wide and said “I love you this much” we used to have that exchange when I was a little girl. I was totally brought to tears.

Sunday August 15th- I arrived in the am to find my mom in bed moaning her breathing was not labored but it was clear something had happened to her overnight. The breathing and moaning became louder and finally after 5 to 6 hours of it I called hospice. They sent a nurse who said the moaning was a sign of pain and the breathing was grugley because she was unable to clear secretions. She asked when the last time was that she had had food or drink and we told her mom had not eaten solid food for about 4 days and that we were only getting ensure in her so she could take her meds. She turned to me and said “stop the fluids, only give her water and only if she asks for it, she is unable to handle the ensure and it will end up in her lungs which could lead to pneumonia” I was shocked and the look on my face must have showed it because she came to me and took my hand and said “this is the beginning of the end, you have about 2 weeks give or take”. I stayed with my mom the rest of the evening before heading home at 9pm to get a shower and go to bed.

Monday August 16th - I was at my mom’s at 5am, the caregiver was changing her, and I talked to her sharing a goofy story about her grandson Jackson and telling her that Izzy was now taking steps. She smiled and seemed to be in good spirits. She even had a small 80z bottle of water. I decided to go to work to let them know I would need to go on a leave of absence as it was becoming clear the end was near. My boss was very understanding and told me to let him know if there was anything, he could do to help. I headed back to my mom’s house where my husband had been just and hour before. He had reported that she was sleeping peacefully and quietly. I arrived to find her in the same state and was content to sit next to her as she slept. At 5:45 the doorbell rang and it was the delivery of the hospital bed that hospice had ordered to allow my mom to more easily sit up and help with her breathing. The caregiver and I went to help move mom to the new bed when I realized that mom was burning up with a fever. I took her temperature after we moved her and she was 104. I called hospice who said they would send a nurse over they then instructed me to put cool rags on her and then the words I don’t think I will forget. “This is the end; the body sometimes spikes a high fever right at the end. You have hours to a day” I hung up called my husband and told him through my tears. He came quickly and brought the children. He went up to her room first and sat with her for a few minutes, I then took each of the children to her bedside I told them Gran was very tired and she was snoring a lot (her breathing was horribly loud) My oldest stood by her bedside and told her she loved her then quickly left. My middle child came in grabbed moms had told her he loved her and kissed her hand. I walked him out and he turned to me and said “I’m never going to see Gran again am I?” to which I could only say “probably not”.

Dan left with the kids and I went back to be with my mom, I sat there holding her hand with tears rolling down my face, her breathing was atrocious. Finally, it slowed and with one final breath, she was gone. I sat there stunned holding her hand not wanting to let go. I called my husband who was on his way back to her house to tell him she was gone. After that, I sat holding her hand for another 1 and half as we waited for hospice to come and certify her death, then the funeral home it was 11:30 before I left moms house dazed and stunned.

Moms funeral was simple she wanted to be cremated and wanted only a small graveside service. I was very fortunate to have loving friends and family around me all of whom have made this whole ordeal bearable.

In the last several weeks I have realized that while my mom and I were at odds a lot she was my best friend I did tell her just about everything and I so dearly miss our talks even though a great many ended in arguments. I thank her for her strength, without it I would not have gotten through the last several months. I pray she is in a better place and at peace as peace seemed to escape her during her time her on earth.

Barbara B. O'Toole

7-29-43 - 8-16-10

Some days it hits you out of nowhere

2010-07-27T09:39:00.000-04:00

I really should be working but I just can't seem to get my mind off the appointment I will have later today with my mom. We have decided to call in Hospice, I need the help and sadly the end is getting closer and closer. I am not equipped to handle what is about to come so I have been told Hospice is the best answer.

I have mixed feeling about all of this. My Mom is my mom, however we have had our fair share of arguments, disagreements and fallouts throughout my entire life. Some of the things I had issue with I have long since let go, others seem to pop up every now and then, even now as we go to this final stage. It is extremely hard to care for someone when they are bitter and mean to you, yet I march on knowing this is my duty and what I assume any good daughter would do.

My father passed away when I was 12 and before that I really didn't know him since my parents bitterly divorced when I was 5. My mom is my only family with the exception of the family I have created with my husband. She had no siblings and her parents passed by the time she was 11, the cousins I do have all either passed on or are significantly older than I ,and really have no deep history or relationship with my mother. So to see her pass will mean a part of my history good bad or indifferent will be taken with her. The good times that we did share will only be my memories, which will become stories I will share with my children but sadly will not be able to share time and again with my mom or have my mom tell them in her own way to my children.

Yesterday while in the office a coworker of mine asked me “How do you do it all”, she was not aware of the current situation, I asked what she meant by “all” and she went on to say "Well you work full time in a stressful job, you have a husband and 3 kids, you are a volunteer, you take educational classes at work, you run 1/2 marathons, and who knows what else" I stopped for a minute and thought about what she said, I never really thought of it as a lot of stuff, it was just the stuff I had to do, then it hit me......My mother taught me that, she instilled that work effort, and drive to perform in me. Which then brought me to tears...... Saying goodbye is so very hard

Cancer and crap…….

2010-07-21T09:58:00.000-04:00

I sincerely doubt that I have any readers left since I seem to have fallen of the blog earth in most respects for good reasons.

I must say that I miss the interaction and the support I derive from blogging and I am hoping some of my blogging world friends will rally around me during this difficult time.

As I have written about, in some of my lasts posts, my husband and I were having some issues earlier this year. I am happy to say that we are working through them and I feel the worst part of the storm is over and we are coming out of it stronger than we were before.

The kids are doing great Lauren is now a rising 3rd grader and is growing more mature by the day. Jackson is a rising 1st grader and he amazes me everyday with the thought provoking questions he asks. Isabelle will be one in a little over a month, boy how time flies! She has started to take some steps but nothing consistent, but she is itching to run after her older brother and sister.

On to the cancer title of this post….. For the last several months my mother has complained of not feeling well. She has not seen a Dr. in well over 25 years by her own choice as during this time she had healthcare but had a complete and utter aversion to Dr. hospitals and all that came with it. Explains why she never came to the hospital when I had the 3 kids. Anyway about 6 weeks ago I received a call early on a Saturday morning from my mother saying she couldn’t breathe. I rushed to her house to find her laboring to breathe and wanting only go to the urgent care center. I of course insisted on the major hospital because in my gut I knew something was not right. She reluctantly agreed and off we went. She was seen in the ER and they started tests as soon as she sat down. An x-ray and blood work was done first and confirmed fluid in her lung and infection, we then moved on to a CT scan. Which showed legions “too numerous to count” on her Lungs and Uterus. Right then I knew my world was going to forever be changed.

Fast forward a bit, my mother was in the hospital for 6 days during that time we dealt with the removal of fluid from her lung, an infection which has still yet to be identified, high blood pressure and decreased oxygen levels and a surgical biopsy of her uterus in which they weren’t able to fully take her under for fear they would lose her during surgery due to her breathing issues. I was informed by every Dr who spoke to me that Hospice should be brought in as her time was anywhere from a couple of months to a high side of 10 months.

My main focus through all of this was to get her stable and get her home, the fear in her eyes each time someone came in will haunt me forever. We were finally given the diagnosis of Stage IV uterine cancer, which has metastases to the lungs, among other issues.

Chemo was ordered and started within the week, mom tolerated it OK but has since continued to go down hill, her blood pressure is still high even on meds and her breathing issues have yet again returned, she has lost 15lbs in a matter of 3 weeks due to her lack of appetite and her tumor markers have nearly quadrupled in 2 weeks.

Early last week she informed me that she would not continue Chemo as she feels it is not helping and doesn’t see the use in it. I have told her I will respect her wishes no matter what she ultimately decides. So today we are speaking with the oncologist to inform her of her decision. This appt will be hard because the question will need to be asked about prognosis without chemo and I am sure the prognosis will not be good.

I am not dealing with this well on many levels and I am ashamed that I am not able to be stronger for my mom, but I am doing the best I can. There is a long history here that is hard to overcome however I am stepping up. Yet through all of this my mom has still kept me at an arms length and treated me as though I have somehow inflicted this on her when all I am trying to do is manage this horrible process. She basically shuts down whenever I try to talk to her.

If you are still reading this I ask that you say a prayer not only for my mom to have a peaceful painless time though this journey but also a prayer for me and my family as we try our best to deal with the hand that has been dealt to us.

I finally did it….

2010-05-11T09:59:00.000-04:00

I have been with my current company for 12 years, in that time I have gotten married had 3 kids and countless other life and family events have happened. Through it all I have been a true blue employee in good times and bad and honestly they have been a good employer as well. 5 years ago my company moved its offices about 37 miles from my home as compared to the 12miled I used to commute. To many I am sure that isn’t that big of a deal but when you live in the 2nd most traffic congested city in the country it is a big deal add to that the time constraints of daycare drop off and pick ups well it becomes downright stressful.

It wasn’t until about 18 months ago that I noticed my usually think skin traffic tolerance start to crack. Why? Well, VA DOT started building hot lanes in an effort to ease the congestion here in the DC metro area that construction has added at least another 15 minutes to my commute and that is on a good day. Completion of this project is not until 2013!!

After taking a much needed vacation or stay-cation as I called it I realized it was the commute that was killing me. Even though I was on vacation I was checking my email and taking calls while home (kids were all in school or daycare during the day). I was not not nearly as stressed out nor was I watching the clock like a hawk. My ah-ha moment arrived; I needed to start working from home!

So Monday morning after my stay-cation I had a meeting with my boss I flat out asked if I could start working 2 days a week from home figuring I would only get approved for one day. To my surprise he said “sure”!! What!!!!! I thought to myself, did I hear you right you are OK with me being home???? I of course need to come in on the days I usually work from home if there is a meeting that requires my physical presence and if senior management wants they can put a stop at any time.

So today is my first work from home day and it has been one of my most productive days since coming back from maternity leave. I was at my home office desk at 6:30 got a good hour in a half in before dropping the kids at school which by the way was not a rushed event as it usually is and I was back at my desk a mere 10 mins later.

So thank you kind boss I promise not to let you down and my advise to you other working moms you never know till you ask!

Time Flies……..

2010-05-05T20:26:00.000-04:00

This weekend was a busy weekend for The Whalen family!

Dan and I celebrated our 11^th Wedding Anniversary, he surprised me a couple of weeks ago with a Mac which I love. Some would say that isn’t the most romantic gift, I would disagree I think it was extremely romantic and thoughtful.

This weekend was also Lauren’s First Communion, she looked like a princess and I was so proud of her. It brought me back to my own First Communion, what was scary about that thought is that it doesn’t seem like it was 30 years ago but it was. Talk about feeling old quick!!

So for Giggles here I am at my First communion Over 30 years ago

And here is lovely Lauren just this past weekend

I think hands down Lauren is way cutier than her ole' mom :) It was a lovely day and I am so happy for her!

The kids ….

2010-05-04T08:09:00.000-04:00

So I haven’t posted many pictures of the kids lately and I think they are overdue for the blog Spotlight!

Isabelle is 8 months old and is just about the easiest baby ever, ironically this weekend we woke up about 2am crying and I was totally shocked. See this sweet baby has let her mommy sleep through the night for the last 5 months, and when I say sleep, I mean sleep! She goes down at 7pm and gets up at 7am! I don’t know what I did but I thank my lucky stars everyday for having such a happy easy baby. Izzy is now eating table food on occasion and is slowly showing signs of wanting to use her Sippy cup, part o f me thinks all of that is wonderful but another part of me keeps screaming in my head slow down!

Lauren is my big Second grader and she matures more and more each day. She is starting to come into her own and I am so proud of the young lady she is becoming. She loves to sing and dance and I think if she had her way she would never talk and only sing. Who know I just might have the next American idol on my hands. She enjoys playing soccer and is still waiting to get that elusive goal this season!

Jackson is my little man! I always thought having a boy would be hard but really, it’s just plain fun and some of the things he comes up with just really crack me up. For instance, when telling a story that he thinks you might think is a little outlandish he says, “no, really I am serious” and he gives you the big serious eyes. Just recently, when I corrected him about something he said “Oh I stand correct” what 5 year old says these things.

So there is the Whalen children update :)

Calling all DC area moms……it’s giveaway time!

2010-04-29T11:13:00.002-04:00

Do you need a night out? I have got a deal for you! How about a Mom’s night out at MusiKids? What is MusiKids you ask? Well it is the premier kid’s music studio in the DC metro area. Musikids has been touted by many publications for helping children embrace their love of music.

Don’t Miss Moms Night Out at MusiKids

MusiKids will host its first Moms Night Out at its Bethesda studio on Thursday, May 6 from 7:30-9:30 p.m. Come sing, socialize, and relax with musiKids staff and other DC-area mothers.

In addition to tasty nibbles and refreshments from Thyme Out, the evening will feature mini massages from Be You Bi You Spa, mothering tips from the Center for Growing Families, and karaoke to release one’s inner songstress.

Lucky for you, I have 2 tickets to the event and I want you to have them! Simply leave me a comment as to why you want to go. I will be selecting a random person On May 4th 2010. To received 2 entries, tweet about this giveaway be sure to link to the post and leave me a comment that you have tweeted

Good Luck!

Tickets to Moms Night Out are available for $12 by calling 301-215-7946 or e-mailing info@musiKids.com. They can also be purchased for $15 at the door. musiKids is located at 4900 Auburn Ave. in Bethesda. For more information, visit www.musikids.com.

And the Dr. says……….

2010-04-14T12:56:00.001-04:00

So as I have written I have had some chronic shin issues since my return to running after Izzy's birth. I was extremely nervous going into Sunday's race for fear that I would not be able to finish due to the pain. Thankfully, I was ok and was able to finish the race. Surprisingly I did not have the intense shin pain I had been experiencing on my shorter runs. So it was time to seek the professionals help.

I work in a building that has a sports med office along with a full physical therapy area. I was reluctant to go because I felt in a way I was cheating on the Dr that repaired and rehabbed my ACL back in 2000. I really did love him and his staff but the drive now would be killer due to the fact I now have 3 kids well you get the idea. So I sucked it up and went to the Dr in my building at work. I must say I was very happy; I spoke to a Dr who is a runner and a working mother like me! She also understood my desire to keep running.

So after an x-ray and an exam we determined that I do not have stress fracture! Yeah!!! However, she did still want to do an MRI on both legs just to be safe. We also talked about Physical therapy 3 times a week to treat and strengthen the shins and she suggested new shoes. I know as a runner you should change your shoes every 300-500 miles, she meant find a new brand and see if it helps. Finally this is what blew me away she suggested I get off the treadmill since that is when I seem to have the most pain, she thinks it is possible my gait/stride is being altered hence the pain and aggravation to the shin. Bottom line there seems to be a lot of little things I can do to get myself healthy and really, I am ready to try anything because I hate running in pain.

So to all my runner friends out there, if you have suggesting on a brand of shoe you like please let me know as I am flying blind since I have been loyal to one brand for years!!!

So consider this episode 1 in the shin saga…….more to come!

Cherry Blossom 10 Miler

2010-04-13T09:22:00.009-04:00

Sunday I ran in the Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10 Miler, pretty awesome for a couple of reasons one I am a Board member of my Credit Union and this was the first race I ever ran in back in 2006. Granted I only did the 5k run/walk but still it was my first. This was also the first long race I have had since the Disney Half Marathon and I was nervous coming into this race. I have been plagued by shin splints and recently when I run more than 3 to 4 miles, my right foot goes numb. It is quite the interesting feeling to run when you can't feel your foot. Also, I have never run this distance alone in a race so it was a little intimidating. I finished with a decent time and was on course to beat my Disney time which is my goal for my next half.

The kids also took part in the fun! Lauren and Jackson ran in their first ever 1k kids fun run which took place about 30 minutes after the start of my race. Sadly, I didn't get to see them run but Dan was able to snap some good pictures. It was entertaining to see the kids when I finished with their medals and me with mine. We of course took a picture don't we look like the sporty running family?

Above The kids and I after our race.

The kids running theirs Jackson was going so fast both feet were off the ground!

My next race is the Marine Corps Historic Half Marathon on May 16^th, I will again be running alone, but this time I think I will be a little less intimidated and I will do my best o just enjoy the race. I am hoping for good weather like we had on Sunday. It was just cool enough at the start and warmed up to a doable temp for the finish.

If anyone reading the blog is running this race let me know would love to meet you!

It really just never fails

2010-04-07T15:46:00.001-04:00

The saying no good deed goes unpunished, is very true! You would think that by now I would have figured out what mean and ruthless person my mother can be. Truth is I know it and I try to do what I think is the right thing and deal with it but some days it is tougher than others.

Case in point TAXES! I have my mom's taxes done by the same accountant that does my taxes; I do this to give her piece of mind and to rid myself of the burden. Typically, Mom sends me her documents in Feb I send them on to the accountant who then send her taxes to her the end of the month of March.

This year she had heard nothing and when I went to see the accountant this past weekend, I handed her copies of my mom's documents in the hopes of prompting her to get them done. Seems however that she (my accountant) never received the original packet I sent in February so she thought I was handing them to her for the first time, I thought I was just reminding her, a simple miscommunication that went unnoticed till today. So Tuesday I get my taxes in the mail and tell my mom that hers should be in the mail as well. Turns out, they weren't and my mom proceeded to call my accountant asking where they were and was informed they were just handed to her last week. My mom proceeded go off the deep end called me in a fit of rage. I might have well have been catapulted back to the days of being a teenager and getting screamed at for something stupid (stupid in her eyes most of the time). Seems that she thinks this is a disaster and that the world is ending because she does not have her taxes yet, taxes which in all honesty will take about 20 minutes to do.

So for the last 2 hours I have listened to my mom accuse me of being a liar, not showing her respect, reminding on how she is not like my deadbeat father and files her taxes and basically telling me what an idiot I am. She has said things like forget I am your mother since you seem to have another mother (reference my mother in law who I saw over the Easter holiday) and "it must be nice to live in your perfect world where nothing goes wrong" She seems to think that having more income than her somehow makes life easy and less complicated, little does she know just have freaking stressful my life is and the reason for her not knowing is because she would have hateful hurtful commentary about it, which would only make it that much more stressful. So I keep it all to myself the good and the bad.

But I am sick of being the doormat whenever she feels the need to blow up and further I am pissed that she then shows her ass to others and then I have to do damage control. In my mind, she has a lot of nerve considering what I do for her. I have paid to have her taxes done for the last 3 to 4 years. Never once has she offered to pay for them, and she was quite content to have my accountant do them. I have tried very hard to be understanding but I finally had it and let her have it right back both barrels. I was tired of being called a liar and irritated I was wasting all this time at work dealing with something so immaterial.

I swear the day is coming when I just simply will not talk to her anymore, sadly my guilt of only having one parent and the fact that she has no one else, gets the better of me and I end up getting hurt all over again.

Sorry for the vent, it just burns my ass that at almost 38 years of age I am dealing with crap like this.

Moving Day

2010-04-05T12:50:00.002-04:00

No not for me, for some neighbors which we had for almost 8 years. It is quite sad actually, when we all moved to the neighborhood 8 years ago we were all new to each other. Some of us moving from other neighborhoods where we were leaving close friends behind, some us in our first single family home, some of us just looking for a bigger house for our expanding families. All of us had one thing in common, just hoping to have nice neighbors. Somewhere along the way we ended up realizing we not only had nice neighbors, we had friends, good friends who all ended up really liking each other, we hung out on a regular basis. We shared stories and good times, we welcomed children, we said good-bye to loved ones, some of us shared trips and vacations, others shared holiday dinners, we were a very tight knit group.
Then one day it all changed. Slowly like a frog in boiling water, it snuck up on all of us. The nucleus of the group was slowly pulling away but not in the fashion you would think, it was ever so slight, a get together here, or a driveway gathering there. Some of us independently thought we were to blame, had we changed? Had we said something offensive? Then others thought they were to blame, we all started to scratch our heads, trying to figure out the answer, when suddenly a year or so later it hit us we weren't to blame we hadn't changed they had just moved on. No longer were we in their inner circle, we found ourselves way on the outside and you know what??? It hurt! We all thought we had something special, a special neighborhood bond. We were in morning, trying to understand where it went wrong, and trying to figure out why. Fast forward about a year and a half. The family we had grown to love yet had become "only neighbors" with sent an email out to us, the same us they had cookout s with, went on vacations with; the email said "just to let you know the For Sale sign is legit, we have put the house on the market" our collective response: surprised yes, shocked no. The sign stayed up the house was sold only to fall through, then be sold again. We were told moving day was April 5^th, moving day was actually April 1^st, not a one of us received a call or knock at the door to say goodbye. Sadly we weren't compelled to walk up and say goodbye either since we didn't want to get our feelings hurt or worse yet not even acknowledged. It really hit me though when my 8 year old daughter cried and said "never even said goodbye".
I wish them luck I hope they are happy, but it's still sad to be so silently kicked to the curb.

I wrote a letter to the President!

2010-03-29T14:05:00.003-04:00

I wrote a letter to the President of the United States, Yes I did! I know it seems silly I mean like he is really going to respond let alone read it, but it made me feel better to write it! My oldest Lauren has been having problems in school specifically reading, she seems to be losing ground not gaining it.

Those of you that know me know I am a pretty on top of it type of person. For over a year know I have been doing all I can to get Lauren the help she needs, I have talked with teachers, I have sent her to reading programs, and I have simply spent time reading with her. Yet it is not helping, and I know things are only going to get harder next year. My frustrations honestly is that curriculum is taught to a standard but not the standard that you and I grew up with some state or federal imposed standard which has done relatively nothing to help our schools and our students, if anything it has put us further behind! While I have worked closely with Lauren's teachers and they have tried to do what they can the system has let us down.

Sadly Lauren is one of those slip through the crack kids, she isn't far enough behind to get special testing but she isn't at grade level either but will be passed to the 3^rd grade even though she is below current grade level. How on earth is that right?? I am the first to admit I was not a great student I had my share of issues some of which I see my poor daughter reliving and I will do any and everything thing I can to help her not suffer the same humiliation I did as a kid.

So below is my letter, if I should get a response, even if it is generic "thanks for writing" response I will be sure to let you know.

Stephanie Whalen March 22, 2010
xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear President Obama,

I would like to thank you for taking on the No Child Left Behind policy. I am the mother of 3 ranging in age from 6 months to 8 years old. My 8 year old, Lauren, is having trouble in school with her reading and spelling and I am a firm believer a large part of her problem is the requirement of teachers to teach to the testing requirements, or as we in the state of Virginia call them, the Standards of Learning (SOL'S).

These SOL's are low to begin with because they want to ensure that everyone performs at or above grade level, so the schools and the school district can show what they deem as excellence in their schools. On more than one occasion, I have noted teachers teaching my children to the SOL standards only, gone are the days of teaching outside the boundaries and letting the teacher set the timetable for learning in his or her classroom based on the make up their class. If a child, such as Lauren, is having difficulty with a concept and she is not able to grasp it in the time allotted by the lesson plan, she is left behind because the teacher is required to move on in order to cover all of the SOL curriculum items which will be tested that year. In the case of my daughter she has not been given the proper amount of time to grasp letter sounds such as long and short vowels and blends of letters such as st, ch etc. These of course are the building blocks for spelling and reading. Her scores are below average yet they do not fall far enough below to warrant special testing or additional help from the school. Why? Because that would mean a child is being left behind and we wouldn't want that because it might reflect poorly on the school! Therefore, my child could become one of those hundreds of thousands of children who slip through the cracks and each year, falling further and further behind with each passing year.

Luckily, we are in a situation where we had the means to have Lauren tested and we have obtained intense tutoring to help get Lauren back on track. This is a financial expense to our family; one which puts a burden on our household budget. Yet, it was the only way we felt we could get Lauren back on track since the additional instruction we were doing at home was not working. However, I can't help but ask if schools weren't teaching to a set of standards at a high rate, would I even need to go down this path?? What would have happened if we didn't have the ability to obtain extra tutoring? Why isn't the school stepping in to help us out since they are the ones who have allowed Lauren to fall so far behind? Furthermore, would my child have been subjected to the teasing she has had to endure in the last 6 months?

I applaud your efforts to get education back on track and I wish you and your Secretary of Education nothing but success as you implement your "Race to the Top" strategy. I was told growing up an education is something no one can ever take away from you. Sadly, I feel the kids of today are in some respects having it taken away from them due to the style of teaching No Child Left Behind has encouraged.

As a mom of 3 and a fierce advocate of children, if there is anything I can do to help get our schools on track I am here to help!

Thank you for your service to our Country and may God Bless you and your family.

Sincerely,
Stephanie Whalen

Comments, comment, comments

2010-03-26T09:25:00.001-04:00

I finally took the step to put some protections on my comments section I was (am ) afraid it will deter people from leaving comments if they have to type in some silly word but I must say I think it beats the bazillion comments I get that make no sense or better yet are in Chinese. Silly me thought there for a while that I really had some Chinese visitors that were interested in my blog no it was just spam and I am sure if I went so far as to translate what they were leaving I would be shocked by the content. So I apologize to those of you who still remember me and want to make comments for adding this extra step but my Inbox is now very happy to be free of some of the trash! J

Hello From Daily Grind Ville

2010-03-23T14:27:00.006-04:00

So it has been nearly 2 months since I blogged or read a blog and I must say I really do miss it but there never seems to be enough time in the day to get it all done and blogging is one of the guilty pleasures I have had to give up. Let me catch you up on life in Dailygrindville!

We took a ski trip in February with our dear friends and neighbors to Seven Springs, PA and we had a blast the older kids are doing so well on skis. Next year I think I will just let them ski with us instead of putting them in ski school. Also in February we had Isabelle baptized, we chose to go with a very low key celebration and I am happy to say it worked out for the best. I am elated to say that both sets of in-laws were there, we did not have any words exchanged, and everyone was very cordial and on their best behavior.

Here is Izzy with her Godmother

Isabelle is great, she is nearly 7 months old and a wonderful baby and we are very very lucky that she is a great sleeper it has made life better. With the older 2 I remember being ready to jump off a roof because they would never get to sleep or would wake up at the crack of dawn! She is rolling all around and pretty soon will be crawling all over the place I know it is just a matter of days before I will need to break out the baby gates. I guess I need to get ready for some stubbed toes and broken toenails. Here is Miss Isabelle on St. Patrick’s Day, Isn’t she a cutie? Jackson is doing extremely well in school however, that has come at a price. He is very smart but he is becoming very bored and because of his boredom, he distracts other students which gets him in trouble. I am trying to work with the teachers to give him some more challenging work so he won’t be a distraction. He has started Soccer and is into Swimming so he is very active! He too just keeps getting more handsome by the minute.
My oldest, Lauren is just about to turn 8 and she is getting to be so mature. I see her blossom a little more each day into a very attractive, smart and loving girl. She had her first ever slumber party this past weekend to celebrate her birthday. I had 6, 8 year old girls in my basement. They made pillow cases, pictures frames, they watched movies, and pigged out on Pizza and cake. In the morning, I was the uber cool mom who made pancakes with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and cherries. I bet their parents loved me when they heard what their kids had for breakfast! Check out the pictures from the slumber party. Of course, the last couple months have had their share of frustration too. Lauren has been continuing to have trouble in school with her reading and it was beginning to really worry me, so I had her tested and sure enough, she is below grade level. We have teamed up with Huntington Learning center to help her get back on track with her reading and hopefully moving in the right direction. I have some reservations about Huntington and I am not entirely sure I am not being “sold the Services” versus her needed all of them but I am willing to give it a shot, anyone else every used Huntington before? If so please email me and let me know how you felt about your experience.

Dan and I are still trying to work through our martial issues some days are good some days are bad. I can’t say at this point that I see the light at the end of the tunnel but I am hopefully that we will in time be able to work things out for us and the sake of our family. I have learned that it is very important to share how you feel when you feel it and not keep it bottled up inside, as it doesn’t do any good. I am getting better at this, as is Dan.

I have been running but have had my share of setbacks, skiing took a little out of me and my knee has been sore since then also I can’t seem to heal my shin splints. It got so bad that I chose to pull out of the DC Half Marathon for fear I might injury myself. So I am still running but trying to keep it at an easy pace. What I need to do is find a running partner that I am totally comfortable with and start running with that person whom I think would challenge me a bit more. My Next race is the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler in DC on April 11th. I will hopefully run the Historic Half Marathon in Fredericksburg VA on May 16th.

So that is what’s up in the land of the Daily Grind, now I need to go catch up on all your blogs !

Just popping in to say hello!

2010-01-25T14:00:00.001-05:00

Life continues to spin sometimes in a controllable fashion! I am back to running and training for the DC half marathon in March a little nervous because there is a time limit of 2hours and 30 minutes and my time for Disney was 2 hours 36 minutes shaving off 6 minutes will be tough. I am not fond of the idea of "the bus” picking me up and taking me to the finish line because I am slow. I guess we will just see what happens.

I am a little frustrated recently as I seem to be spending a lot of time working out for various reasons but I don't seem to be getting any results as far as my weight loss. Now I know I am not as young as I used to be and I just had a baby 5 months ago (can you believe she is that old?) But come on! As of today, I have decided to keep a food journal so I can try to figure out what the heck is going on. I think I know part of the problem is snacking but I don’t think that is the entire problem. I am told stress could be a big part of it too and Lord knows I have a ton of that going on in my life right now. So has anyone out there ever kept a food journal? Did it help you?

Finally, does anyone know how to get annoying commenter’s off my page??? I am thinking of moving to word press but I don’t know how much work that is.

Disney Half Marathon..... Check!!!!

2010-01-12T21:42:00.005-05:00

Disney was amazing!!! I completed my first half marathon in 2: 36: 00!! Let me give you the lowdown on the event. First the race is run early in the morning in an effort to fight off the heat as well as to limit the time the parks need to be blocked off for runners. Let me assure you that heat was not a factor on Saturday.

I set my wake up call for 3:30 am there was no need for it as I was wide awake at 3:15 thinking what have I gotten myself into? I ease out of bed in the hopes of not waking Isabelle who is contently sleeping in her hotel crib or thing 1 and thing 2 who are sharing the pull out. I get ready and out the door I go to meet my 3:40 ride, a cab, in the lobby. I wait about 10 minutes and see other runners waiting as well. "Where is the cab?" I keep thinking finally a couple shows up saying hello to a fellow runner and offering a ride, she declines because she has 4 in her party and the couple can only take 2 or 3. I chime in I'll take you up on that ride. They say sure and off I go with these strangers. My stress has been reduced for the moment. We get to the race and now it is time for me to find my running partner.

I make my way to the tent we (race partner) agreed to meet at and there he is pumped and ready and there I am cold and scared. Cold you say? You’re in FL how could you be cold? Well FL decided to throw me and 17,000 of my race buddies a cure ball it was 33 degrees and sleeting at 4:15am!! Sleeting in FL in January as my race partner sad this was going to be an EPIC race. So for an hour I make sure I have all my stuff drop off my bag and head for the mile walk tot eh start line. All the while thinking can I do this? What if my shin starts to give me trouble, what if I get caught by the bus, what if I let me running partner down??

6:18am we are off I cross the start line and try to run but all I can do is jog, there are so many people and just not enough room. Also you are dodging the jackets, shirts, trash bags, ponchos etc that are being peeled off as runners get hot or warmed up.

By mile 3 I am feeling good and happy to settle into a decent pace. Bands are playing on the side of the road and mile markers do not seem as far apart as they did during my training runs. I get ready to enter the Magic Kingdom and the race partner says enjoy it this will be the best mile of the race. I run down main street into tomorrow land and through Cinderella’s castle I feel good, I am headed out of the park and I start to feel the wall fast approaching. I gut it out till mile 8 where I feel like my legs are just dead weight. I finally have to take much needed walk break.
As we get to mile 10 I’m thinking I won’t break 2:30 like I had hoped and I realize I was scared for a reason, this is hard. Miles 10, 11 and some of 12 were a blur. But at some point during mile 12 I felt like I can make it and my running partner said let’s play the pick off game soon I was passing people all the while thinking where is the damn finish line? I finally saw the line and took off wanting to finish strong, I had no idea what my time was because at some point during my haze my running partner told me to stop being so type A and stop looking at my watch.

I crossed the line and turned to see Steve, my running partner who gave me a huge hug and told me how proud he was of me and what a great job I did. I was so excited to finish I had forgotten to turn off my watch so I really didn’t know what my exact time was. We made our way to the all important place to get our medals and collect our thermal blankets, we then headed to the medical tent so I could get some ice for my shin.

Next it was time to get my photo taken with my Donald Duck medal, then on to another line to wait for food. Steve turns to me and says "not to be uppity but I don’t like all these lines". See he is a good, and in my eyes great runner. His half marathon time is normally 1:45. So he doesn’t need to wait in all these long lines because hardly anyone is there with him. :)

I get my food, then my bag, then head to the massage tent for some much needed work on my legs I am freezing because I am wet from the sleet and the wind is ripping through me. As I lay on the table I am shivering from the cold. I finally get a chance to call Dan to tell him how I did he was very excited for me and was in the parking lot of Epcot waiting to pick me up.
We get back to the hotel and I take a hot bath to soak my weary legs then get dressed and head to Magic Kingdom despite the 33 temps outside. The kids don’t seem to mind and I think it is better to walk than let my legs get stiff and it was pretty cool to wear my medal and have folks congratulate me on my accomplishment.

So now that I have tacked and concurred the half I am ready to do it again and will participate in the DC half March 20th! I have been bitten by the bug I am a runner! I hope that in a years time I can run my first ever Marathon and who knows it might be Disney!

Mickey, Minne and the gang
Me and my Medal
Izzy on her first Visit to Disney
My Cheer squad and their signs
Packet Pick Up

2010-01-06T11:22:00.002-05:00

Excuse me as I blow the dust bunnies from my computer.......So I haven’t logged onto blogger or my reader since I posted my last post. Crazy since a year ago this time I was in there at least once a day if not more!!! Things have just been too busy. I was reminded of this when I got a sweet comment from April about my last post.

So I will bring you up to speed on what is going on here in my world:

Half marathon training is complete and I will fly down to Disney tomorrow night for my Half Marathon Run (first ever and 4 months after a baby I might add) on Saturday. I think I am ready but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you I am scared shitless (sorry for the language) I am excited, nervous, intimidated, and scared all in one. I am hoping to get some good photos and will be sure to post my progress. For those of you who would like real time results on my progress you can go here and have updates email or texted to you. If you need, my full name email me or comment and I will send it to you.

Isabelle is continues to grow and be a love. She went to her 4 month appointment last week and she is now 16. 6 lbs and 25 ½ inches long. Can you say big girl? She is in 9 month clothes and is just about to roll over! She gives the best smiles ever and I love coming home to her everyday and can’t imagine my life now without her. Oh and the best is she sleeps through the night!!!! YAHOOO

Thing one and Thing two (Lauren and Jackson) are great as well. They had an incredible Christmas and are now hooked on their DS’s good news is that they actually play better together now, we will see how long that lasts. School is back in full swing and so they are getting back to the early to bed early to rise routine, never a fun transition.

Married life well it keeps going we are trying to work through are issues but the holidays never make it easy at least I don’t’ think so. I am trying to be optimistic that in time all wounds will heal and we will emerge stronger than ever, but honestly some days it is just plain tough. If any of you have words of wisdom I would love to hear them and they need not only be via comments.

So that is it in a nutshell, wish me luck as I go on to fulfill one of my “Bucket List” items! Now off to read some blogs I go!

I am still here, though I am not sure how

2009-12-10T11:04:00.003-05:00

Hi there, bet you thought I had given up blogging huh? I thought about it then I realized I miss it and even though I may not be able to blog as often as I like I need to when I can as it is an outlet for me and I have also established some wonderful friendships over the last 2 years that I want to continue.

Life has not been a bed of roses in 2009 for me, while the birth of Isabelle was and is great the rest has left a sour taste in my mouth. I have run the gamete on issues from work and losing my project, to post partum depression after Izzy’s birth to marital problems that blindsided me in the last month. I am looking forward to 2010 and the promise it brings to be a better year for me and my family.

I have been working through a lot recently and of course in crazy Steph fashion I have continued to try and be an overachiever, taking on multiple tasks some of which at times seem impossible. Some would call me crazy but I find having a lot to do keeps me occupied and sharp not to mention busy. I guess in a way it is my own version of therapy. I am still set to run my first half marathon and honestly, I think that my training has been my salvation these last couple of months. I am amazed at my strength both mentally and physically and I look forward to posting about my experience.

I must update on precious Isabelle (Izzy as I like to call her). She is growing like a weed and laughed a belly laugh for the first time the other day. She is a great baby who is allowing me to sleep through the night from 8pm to 6am. The older kids adore her and love to hold their little sister. Check her out for yourself.

Izzy and MommaIzzy and her sweet smileIzzy getting to be a big girl!

The kids are doing well in school I am amazed at how mature Lauren has become in just a few short months seems like every time I turn around she matures a little more. Jackson is loving Kindergarten he is doing very well and I have had great reports as far as the academics goes the behavior is something we are working on as it seems he has fallen into typical boyish ways and needs to locate his listen ears both at school and at home. Nonetheless, he is doing well. Lauren and Jackson

So that is it in a nutshell I will post as I can and I ask that you not forget me or totally write me off. All the best to you and yours this holiday Season.

Are you (*^&#@ Kidding me???

2009-11-06T11:08:00.003-05:00

So the day started like many other in the last 2 months, I was up early feeding Isabelle only today would be the day I would go back to work full time. I was very apprehensive about it because I really wasn't ready to leave her behind. This will sound horrible when I say it but with the other 2 I was ready to go back, I think it was because I didn't truly appreciate all the memories that were going to be made in the weeks and months to come once I went back to work. I also think I was in a much more selfish place and worried more about me and my needs. So not the case these days!!!

So the commute started like it had many weeks prior I was sitting in traffic in all the same places as before and listening to the same morning DJ's rattling on about current events,the morning weather and traffic.

I arrived at the office and was greeted by familiar faces, surprised faces and welcoming faces. I enjoyed hearing people coo over the baby pictures I had to share and telling me how good I looked for just having had a baby.

Then I met with my boss a mere 25 minutes after my arrival . He greeted me with a hearty hello and hug, looked at pictures of Isabelle and then asked me to come see him in his office.

I walk in and he shuts the door, tells me how wonderful it is to have me back but that he is sorry to have to give me some not so pleasant news on my first day back. I brace myself, certain that all of the blood in my face has rushed out. "Our project has been permanently shut down" those words ring in my ear. Months earlier I suffered the blow that it was put on hold till 2010. I had fears that the end result would be no project at all, but I kept hopefully thinking the delay was for the best and would allow me to enjoy my leave relatively stress free. I knew there was a possibility that it would never get off the ground after our initial delay but I remained hopefully for me and for my team. Those hopes were now in ruins.

To add to my shocking news I would also need to completely redo my budget for 2010 which was due by Thursday that week and in redoing that budget I must cut 2 people from my team for 2010 and cut them as soon as possible. Are you &$#(%@ kidding me?????? Welcome back!!!

I spent the rest of the day fielding comments like "I am so sorry" and "You'll be fine" along with looks of sadness from fellow colleagues as though I had just lost my best friend or a puppy. It was all I had not to scream at them "stop, stop looking at me like I am a pathetic mess!" I went home angry, although I finally did smile when I saw the kids. But I was still really mad.

I have since informed my team of the decision, I am in the process of looking for other opportunities within the organization for them as well as trying to figure out how I will reinvent myself. I am lucky in that I didn't get fired but I do have some decisions to make in the coming weeks.

Bottom line the first week back has sucked!!!!!

It's over!

2009-11-02T09:39:00.001-05:00

So today is the last day of my maternity leave! It is 4 am and I just got done feeding Isabelle and I am feeling a huge sense of I don't know what! My emotions range from sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety and being just completely overwhelmed.

The idea of being back to work and trying to juggle 3 kids, their schedules, the household duties, homework and a bounty of other issues has been freaking me out. While home I often had moments of "how the heck did I do this before with only 2?". Now there are 3 and the newest one demands most of my time.

I continue to be on medication for depression and I have seen the therapist a few more times. I am trying to work through several issues first and foremost my need to be a perfectionist at all I do. I am slowly starting to see that being the best mom, best wife, best worker, best runner, best daughter, best friend, etc is not attainable and it is a crushing blow to me and my self esteem (some would say ego).

So forgive me if I am not here much the next couple of weeks as I navigate my way. I will pre-post (as I did this post) a blog about Halloween and hope that the weekend affords me some time to post an update on how I am handling everything till then..........

Disney Half Marathon Training has begun....

2009-10-26T08:17:00.000-04:00

I am not sure that is was the smartest thing for me to sign up for my first half marathon a mere 4 months after giving birth but I did and I can't back out now!

So the training has begun my longest race run was 6.2 miles (10K) I am up to 5 miles now. My time is not great but I am building up my endurance. Lucky for me I have a seasoned Marathon runner preparing my training workouts for me.

So if any of you have training tips or if you are running in the Disney Half Marathon in January 2010 drop me a line, I would love to hear from you and what you are doing to prepare.

Isabelle is 2 months today..and a cutie :)

2009-10-23T10:00:00.000-04:00

Isabelle is 2 months old today and I must say her personality is starting to come out. check out the big smiles she gave me this week.

So cute!

Checking me and the camera out

Don't want you to think she is happy all the time :)

Smiles for Momma

Marriage is work!

2009-10-07T13:39:00.003-04:00

I have stopped and started this post several times mainly because I was never able to get more than 10 minutes to myself in the last few weeks. So here goes.

Now I am sure all of you would say of course marriage is work! Well, I have never looked at it as being that much work, sure there have been trying times but nothing I considered to be hard work at least not until about 4 months ago.

As I have written in previous posts, my work was a bit crazy before I left on maternity leave and the bottom was essentially pulled from under me on a project I was working on and was extremely passionate about. During this time my husband was dealing with his own stress of trying to find his way in the corporate world after 20 years in the military. Finally he was given an opportunity within his new corporate life that seemed to light his fire he was moving and shaking.

However my husband doesn't always know limits or boundaries, he is an all or nothing type guy so he was pretty much engrossed in this new endeavor, often I felt to the detriment of our family. I dealt with it thinking maybe the pace would slow down and that I might not be as irritated with his long hours once I had Isabelle and I was home to take care of things. I was a bit naive in my thinking because things didn't slow down and on top of everything he was not only working crazy hours but utterly frustrated by those he was working with on his project and every conversation we had together seemed to revolve around his work.

A little over a month ago an opportunity was provided to him that seemed to be a no brainer, more money, more time off, closer to home, etc. However he has been wavering, one day it is yes then the next it is no. I have acted as his counselor at a time when I have been the person who really needed one.

He ended up not taking the job about much drama. At first I was not sure that he had made he right decision but now, it is starting to feel as though it was the right move. However, I felt as though he was completely unconnected to me and the kids at a time I was in need of a shoulder to cry on as I was taking on a lot with now 3 kids in the house and the stress of his indecisiveness as it pertained to his job not to mention my own post postpartum issues. There were many a night where I was the one feeding, giving a bath and putting all 3 kids to bed on little to no sleep of my own because he was working late. I know I shouldn't complain but it had put me at the end of my rope.

Fast forward a bit.....I went for my 6 week check up last week and the Dr. took one look at me and asked "is everything OK?" I broke down into tears, sobbing, to this person who knows nothing about my life, although he is pretty intimate with my body since he delivered Isabelle! He was wonderful and let me vent a bit. He encouraged me to seek some counseling as he could tell in 10 brief minutes that I was in need of a shoulder to cry on, he even went to far as to make the appt for me. He also adjusted my meds in the hopes of trying to get me balanced out.

I spoke with the therapist yesterday and while I don't feel it really accomplished anything it did feel good to get some things off my chest to an unbiased party. However some of those things need to be told to those who can help change them not a total stranger.

My husband has been gone since Saturday on a business trip and comes back tomorrow I hope to talk to him about how I am feeling but I am afraid it will be perceived as me bitching as it seems I have not been very happy for quite sometime. I love my husband but I feel as though we have not connected in a very long time. this I know needs to change and I don't blame him solely because I have not been a peach to be with recently either. Hopefully a good old fashion gab session will help clear the air.

So there you have it! I promise to post a more upbeat post tomorrow. As a matter of fact tomorrow Isabelle will be 2 months old so I will be sure to post some photos.

Life continues to spin in high gear!!!

2009-10-06T10:11:00.002-04:00

I think the title says it all. It is hard for me to believe that Isabelle is 5 weeks old. She is starting to get into a bit of a schedule but it is hard sticking to it with the older kids having so much going on. Last night I was so exhausted that I let Izzy cry it out at bedtime while it sucked for 20 min listening to her cry I knew she was feed dry and in need of nothing but sleep as was I.
I am happy to say that at 9pm she was sound asleep and stayed that way till 4am!
I am sure someone will think I am cruel for letting her cry but I truly could not lift my head of the pillow.

On the blues front I am on meds don't feel like they are doing much for me. However I am sticking to them. I have also started my 1/2 marathon training. I was able to log in 3.5 miles on Sunday and while it hurt and I felt like I would die I got it done and am ready for more.

On a good note I am just about back into all my pre pregnancy clothes. I put on my DKNY jeans Sunday and they fit! Talk about a woohoo moment!

I hope to have new pictures of Isabelle up in the next couple of days.

To social network or not to social network

2009-09-28T16:00:00.004-04:00

So I am a technology junkie. I facebooked and tweeted while in labor to provide everyone I know up to the minute updates on my labor progress.....I think that makes me officially a junkie! I have loved getting in touch with old friends and new ones via these social networks but I can't help but wonder if these sites lend themselves for people to address their issues to or about a person in a passive aggressive way. Without getting into friends which have made random comments on my page and theirs that seem directed square at me and the past that was. Now I know all about holding on to things in the past, my mother is the master of it, but at some point don't you just let it go and move on? Certainly you don't lay it out there for all the world to see?What are your thoughts on these social networking sites? Have you every taken the passive aggressive approach on them to deal with an issue you might have???

Life with 3 Update

2009-09-18T10:52:00.004-04:00

It has been a little while since I posted my guess is that you understand I have had my hands full getting Lauren and Jackson off to school along with giving hugs, kisses and general love to little Isabelle Grace.

The first few weeks of Isabelle's life seem to be a blur nothing new for most new moms.Isabelle has been a great baby she has made breast feeding a breeze which was not the case for my first 2. Isabelle has also been a good sleeper however mom has not learned after 3 kids that she needs to nap when she naps hence I have been a bit sleep deprived.

Truth be told as happy as I am in a bit of a funk and I have been here before. However this funk unlike others is identifiable to me and I know there is a solution if I choose to reach out for it. See I deal with depression, before becoming pregnant with Isabelle I was being treated for depression and silly and not so responsible me took matters into my own hands and stopped my medication cold turkey because I did not want to subject little Izzy to unneeded drugs.Fortunately for me I did not have a horrible reaction to my discontinuance of the medication even though I did so at a time that my life was in complete turmoil. Job responsibilities, a new pregnancy, Dan retiring from the military on top of daily life was not easy and was no picnic unmediated. Yet I think it has taught me something and that is that it is ok to as for help and not to be ashamed.

Those of you who read here on a regular basis may know I like to stay busy, it really does make me happy and the way I stay busy is usually doing for others, add the fact that I have a huge desire to do everything well (some would say perfect) and well it can be a slippery slope.So here I sit knowing full well I am not super woman but still trying to be her.I am overjoyed to have Isabelle in our lives however I am overwhelmed by my own issues to be perfect and there for everyone and because of that I find myself burning the candle at both ends and hence very sad and very very tired when I should be at a very happy place.

I am happy to say that I have reached out to family and friends as well as my Dr and I hope to be on the road back to my old self of over a year ago, because it has become painfully apparent to me that I am not where I should be mentally and physically my body can not keep up this pace.So there you have it warts and all. The bright side is that I have this wonderful family to pull me through.

A Birth Story.................

2009-08-31T15:55:00.008-04:00

Isabelle Grace Whalen has arrived! She is 8lbs 10oz and 21 inches long and she arrived on August 28th 2009 at 1:59pm

She is wonderful she has 10 fingers and 10 toes and she smells of sweet newborn baby. I am in love all over again. Her arrival into this world went smoothly, so smoothly that I would not rule out more kids. Give me a couple of weeks I may change my mind!!!!!!!!
Dan and I went to dinner alone on Thursday night before I was to check into the hospital it was strange having him all to myself for a meal. As we left I turned him and said so are you ready to be the Dad of 3 and he said "Bring it on!"

We checked in and they wasted no time getting me set up, they hooked me up to the monitors and found that I was contracting every 3 to 4 minutes and was about 1 to 2 cm dilated. They proceeded to hook up an IV line and give me the Cervidil. After about on hour on the monitors they took me off gave me a sleeping pill and called it a night. Dan and I slept from about midnight to 6am.

At 6:30am the day began, I was hooked up to the pitocine and after about 2 hours went from 1-2cm to 2 to 3cm. I was feeling the contractions but they weren't killing me, I asked about the epidural and when they thought I should have it and before I knew it the man with the magic syringe was there. With my first 2 kids I hated this part, I remember it being painful and very scary, not this time around! Sure it had a little pain associated with it but nothing like the first 2. Within 30 mins I could see the contractions but wasn't feeling them like before.

The morning progressed and I was a 7cm when the pain started to pick up but only on my right side. We could see that Miss Isabelle was hanging out totally on my right side and thought that might have something to do with why I had some pain. They gave me a bit more of the epidural and that still didn't seem to work it's magic. By 12noon I told them I was feeling pressure and they said they would wait for my Dr to check me but that there was nothing they could do about pressure pain. I was pretty certain that by this point I was 10 cm but I didn't insist they check me instead I hung out in a bit of pain waiting for my Dr. He arrived and looked at me sadly saying he was sorryI was in pain and that he would see what he could do. With that he checked me and sure enough I was 10cm, time to push. He asked me to try to push in order to be certain I still had some feeling after being epiduraled to the max and as soon as he knew I could told me to get ready to be a mom for the 3rd time in about 3 min. Man was he ever on the money. Within about 5 min I had baby Isabelle in my arms! As any of you that have kids know as soon as she was placed on my belly all the pain was gone. I was nothing but smiles!

We did have one scare but it was the kind of scare you are grateful not to have known about beforehand. Seems that Isabelle when she was a bit smaller tied her umbilical cord (which even the Dr sad was crazy long) into a knot. Thankfully that knot never got tight as it could have killed her by cutting off her lifeline to me. I was shocked when the Dr. showed me the evidence and relived that we had pressed to have her induced.

We were moved from the Labor room to a private room within about an hour. There I spent the next 2 days caring and bonding with Isabelle. I have never been a good breast feeder. I had a horrible experience with Lauren and with Jackson I only made it about 3 weeks and even that seemed to to be struggle. This time it has been different, Isabelle latches on easily and seems to get what she needs. I hope to continue for a while although I will need to assess once it is time to go back to work. A note about the nursing staff I had caring for me in the hospital they were awesome, I have to say this by far was the best experience in a medical environment I have ever had. It is not often that the medical field asks how they can make you more comfortable Dan kept calling this the "kiss your ass" way to have a child, these women got me whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and did it with a smile. By the time I left I felt as though I had bonded with them.

Last night was our first night home and Isabelle was a dream, she ate at 9:30 went to bed and didn't get up till 1:15 we fed until 2 and then she woke up again at 5:45. I won't hold my breath that it will happen 2 nights in a row but it was a nice homecoming.
Here are some pics of the last few days I hope to have some better pictures in the week to come. Thanks for all the well wishes from my Twitter and Facebook posts it was fun posting and reading the response as labor progressed.

Daddy and Isabelle

Isabelle Grace Whalen

The kids meeting Isabelle for the first time

Me all teary eyed

Mom and baby just after Delivery

Well I am finally in the home stretch......

2009-08-25T09:21:00.005-04:00

I have made it past all my important dates, what might those be? Well, I was able to have my son's birthday party, I made it to the last day of work (even though I am working from home for now) but most importantly I was able to not have this little girl on my son's real birthday which was this past Sunday the 23rd.

I am however...... done! Every ounce of my baby weight has been in my belly and while it was cute early in the pregnancy it has become painful, my back hurts all the time and I am totally unable to get into a comfortable position for more than 30 minutes at a time needless to say sleeping is great fun...NOT!

So last week at my appointment I was not dilated at all however my cervix start to get squishy (Dr. term not mine) it was decided that we would induce due to the size of my last baby and that this one may be about 8 to 9lbs. I am thinking she might be a bit more because I seem to be one of those lucky women who hide their baby's well. Nonetheless induction was in my future. So we have determined that Friday the 28th will be the day...unless of course she decides to take matters into her own hands before then. I have had contractions off and on since Saturday night but nothing has settled into any kind of true pattern.

I have my final appointment this Thursday at which time if I am still not dilated they will admit me to the hospital that evening to start me on cervidil before giving me the pitocine cocktail Friday morning!

So here I am this is the last picture you will see of my pregnant! Enjoy!

Try to overlook that i have no make up on and my hair is not done!

Also it is my hope to twitter about labor so if you twitter look me up (swhln19) Thursday night and Friday day

Work stress and disappointment

2009-08-20T15:12:00.002-04:00

So I have been a bit slack in posting here lately. In my last post I talked about my work situation needing it's own post so here we go.

I have been working on a rather large project for the last 16 months, this project was going to be my biggest accomplish to date in my working career and it was my hope that is would get me promoted to an officer level VP, needless to say a bit of a big deal.

The past year has been full of long hours, road trips and tough meetings but it was all starting to come together and even though I missed my first target date of July 1st things were still going well that is until July 15th. When road block after road block seemed to appear. The Sr. management of my company changed drastically and suddenly my project was not a popular project. It was very hard not to take it personally but I kept fighting through a) because I believed in what I was doing and b) because I knew this would have great payoffs for not only my family and the company but me as well. To say I was driven and passionate would be an understatement.

My dreams of stardom came crashing down Aug 10th when I was informed by the President (my boss) that my project was being put on hold till late 2010 due to capital (money) issues. Seems that we had a rough 2nd quarter which resulted in a company wide loss and the powers that be were hunkering down and looking to ride out what they perceive as a storm ahead. I was crushed...beyond crushed….. I was devastated. For those of you that know me personally and those of you who have read my blog long enough you probably get that I am a very driven person. When I make my mind up I throw myself into something a 120% add to that I am a very competitive person well it can be a very scary sight. My project it seems has gone up in smoke and I have been told to stand down. So for a week I went through a bit of a grieving process. I kid you not when I say I went from shock and disbelief to anger to shear emotion. (Not good when very pregnant)

I am trying my best to look at this as a glass half full situation, it will allow me to focus on the birth of my daughter without distraction, I can relax a bit while home on maternity leave and hopefully come back to work with a fresh perspective instead of felling like I never left.

All that said it is still not easy to switch gears. I am now working from home because the hour long commute to work was getting the best of me and I plan to work from home till I deliver while it is nice to shift gears it feels very odd and I am doing my best to adjust. Honestly I think I am still in the grieving process just a bit. I am hoping the arrival of our daughter will take some of the sting out of the last week and half, as I need something happy to look forward to.
Tomorrow an update on my baby creating progress and a finally belly picture!

This and that......

2009-08-11T18:12:00.007-04:00

Well a lot has been going here in the house of Whalen........

Last you heard from me I had an incredible surprise baby shower hosted by dear friends, I have finished all the thank you notes and put away all the lovely things and I am officially ready for baby business. Now let's just hope and pray that the child is a girl because a boy is going to feel very out of place in pink and purple clothes and the pink room we have ready!

My work colleagues also surprised me with a shower where they were kind enough to provide me with $225 dollars worth of gift cards as well as a gift certificate to a local spa! Talk about spoiling a girl!

We have also celebrated my 37th birthday. Surprise of surprises both my mother and my husband bought me the exact same thing ... a telephoto lens for my Nikon. One of course went back and earrings were given as the replacement, another really cool gift too.

This past Saturday we celebrated by son's 5th birthday even though it is not till the 23rd I wanted to be sure that he was not cheated out of a birthday party should I go into labor. We had a blast and I have the pictures to prove it. I had a face painter come and she did an amazing job. If you are in the DC metro area and need an idea for a party I highly recommend her (http://www.facesbyarla.com/) Check out her incredible work.

Jackson as Batman

Jackson blowing out the candle

Jackson as Batman with his Alien Ballon hat

Lauren as a Butterfly Princess

Now check out what she talked me into doing... I am not one for showing off my prego belly as a matter of fact I never took any prego pictures before this pregnancy but Arla was able to not only get me to show my belly she got me to take pictures of it up close and personal. I have had several people who have told me I should make this my profile picture on Facebook and that I should make this the first page of the baby's baby book. I just think it is way cool !!

My belly at 37 weeks!

I am on week 37 of pregnancy and still no sign of movement hence no induction date to be set. I am hoping for new this Thursday when i go to my appointment. Also since this week has already been a trying week at work I am hoping the stress has made my cervix say enough time to start opening! On the work front I will post about that separately because I think it deserves it's own post. Hopefully I will get to that tomorrow.

Till then look for my posts on Twitter (swhln19) and facebook Stephanie OToole Whalen who knws I might tweet while in labor!

What is nesting you ask???

2009-08-03T14:19:00.003-04:00

I was the ultimate nester this weekend! This was my Sunday!
By 10:30 AM on Sunday I had accomplished the following: Done a load of laundry and put it away Made a cake Made a pumpkin pie made biscuits made Rice with black beans and corn chicken was in the oven for dinner and I was trying to install my video ripping software on my computer. My husband was standing back and keeping the children busy as he is afraid what I might do to them LOL Still on my list was: Costco run Picture ordering Bill paying and who knows what else!

I accomplished all of the above as well as took the kids to the pool for what else a diving lesson. Check out my coaching skills (or lack of) we had a blast but I was so tired I couldn't fall asleep you know that tired when you are overly tired well that was me. I tossed and turned all night long. I finally felt good about 3 am only to get up 2 hours later. Tonight I will crash and burn.

Like this!Watching poolside looking like I am about to pop, Only 3 more weeks

Ah close but not close enough!

She never listens!

Perfect form

Stay tuned for tomorrow where I spill the beans on my Birthday Celebration!

Dr appt at 36 weeks

2009-08-02T08:05:00.002-04:00

With my first 2 kids I was induced for no particular reason. Well, ok with the first it was because my husband was in the military and in an area where getting a call to him was nearly impossible and the idea of him missing our first child's birth did not float with me. So we elected to induce at 39 weeks. The second induction was done out of sheer convenience but thank goodness it was because none of us (including the Dr) had a clue that my son was so big 10 lbs 2 oz 22 inches. I was in labor when they finally started to induce.

So here I am with number 3, I have a new Dr (that is another post all together) and the practice has been great, I just naturally assumed I would be able to induce like the other 2. Well the reality of that came crashing down a bit for me on Friday after doing an internal exam and finding that nothing is moving, not effaced, not dilated the Dr. warned me that if my body does not cooperate meaning dilate and efface he will not allow me to induce at 39 weeks. Panic set in! "I am a planner" I said
"The idea of going into labor at home in a non clinical setting terrifies me"
"I hear ya" he says
"but the last thing you want is a C section if your body is not responding"
He right I ahve never had a C section and I don't want to start now if I don't have to... I have a 1/2 marathon in January to train for!

He did agree that because I have had 2 non eventful births by induction and because of the size of my last baby and potential of this baby to be big he would at least schedule my induction but not to have my hopes set on things going that way. As he said "You could go all on your own at 38 weeks you never know" Next week they will let me llok at the schedule and pic a day.

I know women have been going into labor on their own for years but the whole having my water break or having contractions in the middle of that night, not my cup of tea! So here I sit waiting.

Yesterday, I drove my husband crazy because at 6:30pm which is either my weekend napping time or my I need to go to bed time I was full, I mean FULL of energy, I kept saying I need to do something! I think nesting has totally really set in. Today I have cooking and baking planned along with all the laundry to get done and I am not at all overwhelmed by it!

Stay tuned..... we know there is more to come.

35 weeks and counting.....

2009-07-31T14:12:00.003-04:00

Well here is the peanut! At 35 weeks she is a whopping 6lbs give or take 30%

Face Shot

looking at htis I would say she looks just like her brother and sister when they were born

Profile Shot!

My other kids were born at 39 weeks and Lauren came in at 8lbs even and Jackson was 10lbs 2ozs yes he was delivered vaginally.

Not sure what to expect of this one yet. I am not all over huge like I was with Jackson yet I am not small like I was with Lauren. I guess only time will tell.

I am feeling very tired these days and being on my feet or sitting at a desk for any length of time is killing me because I am so uncomfortable. While I would love to have this baby soon I want her to cook a little longer because I have a plan and those that know me know I don't like to have my plans messed up. I have written about our summer nanny who was our former Aupair, and she has been wonderful with the kids. Since she is from New Zealand she lives with us during the summer. She will be here through the 18th of Sept which is the way I planned it based on my original due date of Sept 3rd. The goal was to have some help here for the first couple of weeks, then be on my own. While it has been wonderful having Abby here and she has been a big help there is something about having someone in your home for an extended period of time that can get on your nerves. Abby is like family, but she isn't and I am ready to reclaim my house and not have to be cheery if I don't feel like it. I know, you can say it I am a mean person. Really I am just a frank person who doesn't pull punches which has gotten me in trouble from time to time.

Baby Shower...I mean "Sprinkle"

2009-07-20T11:54:00.006-04:00

I have incredible friends!

So Saturday I was thrown a surprise baby "sprinkle" Being this is my 3rd baby a full blow shower was not in order! However I think it was more of a downpour because my girlfriends were all so so generous. Just look at the stack of gifts in front of me. It was a wonderful afternoon full of fun, food, laughs and good times. My dearest closet friend Magin came armed with her camera and took a ton of photos some of which I will cherish forever. She is super talented and owns her own photography business so if you are in the DC metro area and you are in need of a photographer look her up!

View all

Get your own

I am finally starting to feel ready for our new addition and I can't wait to meet her!

If you need new sheets ....I have the sheets for you!

2009-07-17T12:21:00.007-04:00

I am a huge fan of my bed I know who isn't right? Whenever I go away on business or pleasure I am constantly critiquing the bed and the bed linens, I have even gone so far as to purchase the same products used on beds I dub as comfortable in an effort to recreate the sleep experience I have had.

Well, when I was given the opportunity to try out the Tempur-Pedic Egyptian Cotton 420 Thread Count sheets, I jumped at the opportunity! So last week I washed the new linens and put them on my bed, from the time I touched them for the first time out of the package I was sold. They felt soft and silky before they had even had one wash. I washed them in my favorite tide fragrance (Tide® Simple Pleasures™ Vanilla) and put them on my bed one Saturday afternoon. I must say this was one of the first times that while making the bed I wasn't grumbling about the wrestling moves needed to put the sheets on my King sized bed, because there was no need for those moves. Which of course I was happy about since I am 8 months pregnant. The fitted sheets have deep pockets which allow for an easy fit but not so easy that the corners work their way free after a couple of nights. Tempur-Pedic was smart about their design and placed an anchor of sorts so there is never any slippage! Check it out above!

My first night on these sheets were heavenly! Some sheets can be scratchy even after several washings these were not, my kids and even my husband commented on how comfy our bed was. So comfy in fact that I think it is time to replace my back up sheets with other colors from the Tempur-Pedic line. Check out the colors that are available to you.

If you are in the market for new sheets I highly recommend that you check out Tempur-Pedic's website, they have other great products there that you might be interested in as well.

33 weeks belly shots

2009-07-10T08:23:00.008-04:00

Seems that my blogger account has been doing some funky things I noticed there was a post yesterday that should have posted about 2 weeks ago!

So here I am at 33 weeks I have blossomed as someone at work told me, but honestly I am about done. I am uncomfortable, unable to sleep and tired of all my bodily functions. (to be graphic, the leaking boobs and the constipation are killing me)

Me from the side 33 weeks

Me from the front 33 weeks

So of you have asked so here are pictures of the babies room thus far I still have a ways to go but I am trying to hold off because I have been told by more than one person wait. Which for those that really know me know that is not something I do well, when I want something done I want it done.

The Changing table all ready to go

The Crib with the bedding all washed and waiting for her

In this picture you get an idea of the room I need to hang some stuff on the walls and I have a glider coming from a friend of mine that no longer needs it, so that will go between the dresser and the crib.

Beach Pictures

2009-07-08T21:05:00.001-04:00

As promised here are the pictures from our beach trip! We had a great time as you can tell by the photos. Don't laugh to hard at the beach whale you see that is me in all my pregnant beauty NOT!!!

Dusty Keyboard

2009-07-07T07:56:00.002-04:00

I have been a bit busy and maybe even a bit lazy in the last few weeks. Shame on me as the Catholic nuns use to say to me. Let me bring you up to speed!

First Abby our former Au pair arrived in mid June and has been a huge help to us with the kids and around the house. I took her arrival as my chance to try and catch up at work so for her first 2 weeks I logged some long hours. last week we went on vacation to LBI NJ had a blast and thankfully had great weather as well.

I have finally started to get the baby's room in order. The crib is put together and I ordered the bedding yesterday. I finally bought a few more outfits and I am very excited to meet my best friend for dinner Saturday first and foremost to catch up and second because she has a ton of stuff which will put my mind and my wallet at ease :) Love you Magin!

I have tons of blog topics running around in my head so I need to write them all down and start posting!

Tomorrow's post will be our beach vacation photos!

I'll be dropping by soon!

Belly at almost 31 weeks

2009-06-25T07:57:00.000-04:00

Ok I have truly popped !!!! Come on the end of August, I am ready to meet my little girl!!

Cleaning, organizing, and nesting!!!!!

2009-06-24T16:00:00.002-04:00

Well last weekend I had a fun filled weekend of nesting! Yes I cleaned I organized, I packed!

First we had the painters come Monday to paint the baby's room as well as the guest room. My son Jackson is moving into the guest room and wanted it to look just like his old room. So the guest room was painted blue per his request! Check out the new digs!
His first night was a little rough, he ended up in our bed twice. I think he was a bit overwhelmed by the new surroundings. He however has been bragging to anyone he can about his new room.

The baby's room will start taking shape after my father-in-law visits from NY, he is bringing Lauren home from her trip up there and will put together the crib one last time. From there I need to start thinking about buying some stuff for this kid! Bedding, clothes diapers wipes are all on my list. Here is a picture of the room now looks pretty barren but it will get there.

A sad day for DC and Metro

2009-06-23T16:07:00.002-04:00

It's been a crazy few 24 hours here in DC. As I am sure you have seen the DC metro system suffered it's worse disaster in its history yesterday afternoon. I have a good number of colleagues who could have been on one of those trains but thankfully they were not. The wreck is one of sheer devastation and the pictures on TV do not even come close to depicting the scene. I had the misfortune of seeing the wreck on my way to work from the dentist this morning all I could do was bow my head and say a little prayer for those who lost their lives and those that were injured.

While I do not ride the metro on a daily basis it has been a part of my upbringing and I have always found it to be a very safe mode of transportation. I hope this will not place a black eye on the metro system as I think it is one of the finest in the country.

To my fellow DC Metropolitan commuters please have some patience the next couple weeks as they try to sort out the details of this horrible accident.

I just want to scream......

2009-06-19T11:31:00.002-04:00

Really I want to hit someone but I know that won't solve my problem either. I feel like this is never ending saga and quite frankly I am ready to end it even though it will be a very drastic and very final end.

My mother and I have had a long torrid relationship and as I have gotten older, worldlier and hopefully wiser, I have determined that she has many demons and issues which are not mine and are not mine to bare. However out of respect and truthfully fear, I have continued best I can to be the good daughter. I know it is not seen that way in her eyes, however I can hold my head high and say I try to the best of my ability to be a supporting loving daughter.

Without digging all the way through history my mom is not a fan of my husbands family and honestly there, are times when I cam not either, but I think that is true in any family and I look past that or at least I try. My mother on the other hand does not and punishes me for any involvement I have with them. It is very unhealthy. The most recent episode was today when I called to say hi only to hear in her voice that she was not happy I ask if she as ok and she said "fine." Which I knew was not the case, she then went on to say she had a lot on her mind and that she was looking to move (can you say drama?) I am well past the getting excited stage when I hear things like this. So I said let me know if you want to talk. She then retorts "so did your sister in law and her kids make it here" "yes", I replied "but I haven't seen them much because I have been working." It went further than that but I will leave it there. I told her I was tired of being made the bad guy every time one of the other family members come in town and she continued down her venomous path and I stayed silent. Knowing full well if I opened my mouth I would not stop and it would be very hurtful not to mention I didn't want to get all riled up being 8 months pregnant.

Further along in the conversation she informs me that she will not be attending Lauren's dance recital because she has a hair appointment and her hair dresser doesn't have any other time available. With that I shut down there were a number of uh- huh's and yeah's on my part for the rest of the call but I was basically in tears.

What the hell is with this woman that she can't seem to take time out of her retirement schedule to come see her grand kids?? Why is it that there needs to be an engraved invite presented to her every time? I am over it and I am not, will not, invite her to another damn thing. She has hurt me for the last time when it comes to my kids. I am the one who is busy with a successful career, a growing family and I do my very best to include her. Yet she, who is retired, can't be bothered because she has some sort of f**ing bug up her ass. GET OVER IT LADY! Life is to short!

Growing up way too fast

2009-06-17T16:00:00.002-04:00

So last Saturday was picture day for my daughters dance class. They have their big recital in 2 weeks. Now I am a dance recital virgin! I never danced a day in my life! I was a total tomboy at Lauren's age and the idea of being girly at this early age is totally and completely foreign to me.

However, she likes to dress up and she is obsessed with kiddie makeup these days. So as I got her ready for pictures I thought what he heck I will curl her hair a bit and allow her to wear some lip gloss and eye shadow. Albeit the kiddie version. She looked adorable and even with that little amount of make up she looked much older to me than her 7 years. Do you agree???? So I get to the dance studio and I am shocked no STUNNED at the all the little girls in her class who are "done up" in moms make up!!! I mean we are talking full adult make up here! There was even a box in the waiting area of the studio with adult makeup in it. My first thought was man I am a prude! Then I thought no I just don’t want my baby growing up too fast if that means she is a few years behind the others when it comes to make applications and hair dos so be it.

The Nerve of some people, no matter what you give people want more.

2009-06-14T21:16:00.001-04:00

So Abby has arrived and the kids are thrilled! I must admit I am as well. Unfortunately things ended on a bit of a sour note with Celia. Minutes before I was to get on a conference call Friday morning (I was working from home) Celia decides to hit me with "When are you going to pay me for Vacation time since I have been here a year". I was dumbfounded, befuddled, perplexed, bewildered, baffled, basically at a complete loss for words!

I distinctly remember having a conversation with her where I said if you need vacation let us know and we will work it out with you. Now I am sure there are some who will say I owed it to her but before you accuse me of being unfair let me say that we provided her 3 1/2 weeks of time off when we were on vacation AND WE PAID HER FOR IT!!!!! There were countless days where I would tell her not to worry about coming in till noon so I could drop off the kids or days I or Dan came home early let her go, a;; the while paying her as though she worked the whole day.

I had literally 5 minutes to spare and I went up to our bedroom to wake up my husband to ask him if he had made some sort of arrangement that I was not aware of. He of course had not and I asked him to please handle it with her as I had a full day of calls and appointments to deal with and could not get bogged down in a long drawn out conversation.

He ended up given her a weeks pay, much to my dismay. I felt as though I had been shaken down for money and I was and am not at all pleased about it. I gave her nearly 2 months notice before letting her go and told her should she find another job during that time I would make arrangements. I gave her a good reference even though she has never been on time and does not have good discipline with my kids. I felt a bit used. Seems I can never win in the caregiver gig, no matter how nice or how tough I am I still get burned, hopefully I have better luck in the fall when we hire a new Nanny.

Whew!

2009-06-12T07:21:00.001-04:00

I passed my 3 hour glucose test! The results came yesterday so today's appointment should be a good one. I think after today I start to go every 2 weeks. I must admit even though I have been extremely tired with this pregnancy it is going by very quickly!

Today is Celia's last day and sadly I don't think the kids are upset to see her leave. She has been a great caregiver for us however the kids didn't bond with her as I had hoped they would. Tomorrow Abby arrives from New Zealand at 6am what was I thinking when I booked those flights? it will take her a couple of days to get over jet lag but then the kids will be in for a fun filled summer. She loves to take them on hikes and do arts and crafts and just plain have fun. Though I have told her that there needs to be some school work done during the summer to keep Lauren sharp for 2nd grade. I learned my lesson last year when I let her have a summer full of no school activities.

Today I am working from home for a bit then heading off to the 1st grade picnic, we have a teddy bear theme and the kids are all bringing their bears to take part in games and crafts. I was able to get a donation of water bottles and T-shirts so they all will be decorated them to take home.

Tonight is the swim team pep rally, Lauren's first even though she will not be swimming in time trials she is excited to go to the pep rally and pasta pot luck where she will also Tie dye a few things. Should be interesting.

I will be sure to take and post pictures of both events hope everyone has a great weekend, talk to you Monday.

28 weeks and counting

2009-06-08T10:23:00.004-04:00

So as I type this I am sitting at the lab partaking in my 3 hour glucose test. Lucky me failed my first test only to be blessed with taking the 3 hour test. The timing of course stinks because I really need to be in the office preparing for my company wide speech on Wednesday. Instead I am here blogging and killing time.

A lot is going on right now, we are preparing for Celia our nanny for the past year, is leaving us this Friday. Unfortunately she will not be able to handle all 3 kids specifically the baby since she has a bad hip. I am fortunate that the very first Au pair we had in 2006 is coming to stay with us for the summer and will be here until a couple of weeks after I deliver. Abby arrives Saturday morning at 6am and the kids have no idea. They are going to be thrilled when they see her. I too am very excited because I know the kids will have a fun filled summer. Don't get me wrong Celia did a good job for us but she is not the hands on get on the floor play with you person that Abby will be. The the search is on for Celia's replacement in the fall, I have some prospects but nothing solid as of yet.

This past weekend was full of activity for us. Dan and I attend a Black Tie event which I am still surprised he talked me into going to since I didn't at all feel comfortable being in formal attire 7 months pregnant. Here are the picture of us before we left. We both clean up pretty good if I do say so myself.

Saturday I had dinner with my boss and a colleague and their families it was nice to socialize outside the 4 walls of my office! Sunday was spent by the pool with the kids which wore them out and made my Sunday evening blissful!

Not much else going on, but I don't think I could handle it if there was. I'll be hopping by blogs in a bit to try and catch up.

To shower or not to shower!

2009-06-01T15:23:00.000-04:00

No I am not talking about hygiene here! As you know, I am expecting baby number 3 a girl in late August. We are very excited and a little unprepared because truly we thought we were done having kids, that is until I was bitten by the baby bug and the need to complete the family.

So I have been asked by many, are you registered? I recoiled the first few times I was asked saying " no this is my 3rd baby of course I have not registered" only to be greeted with "why not?" In my head my answer was "Because this is baby #3 and only baby number one gets showered with all the stuff!" Instead I shurgged and said "because I should have everything already." See I was always taught you get one shot at things like that, meaning bachelorette parties, bridal showers, baby showers are all one time deals you don't get do overs.

Finally I couldn't take the pressure anymore, I went ahead and registered reluctantly mainly because I have had a lot of business colleagues who didn't know me when I had my first 2, that insisted I give them some sort of clue as to what I needed. I say reluctantly because I didn't even go into the store with the little scanner thing to register, I did it all online. Sad huh? Anyway I feel like a schmuck for even having a registry for my little peanut, if my mom ever found out she would brow beat me verbally for weeks.

So am I crazy to feel this way? Has it really become OK to register with each baby?

The Graduate

2009-05-31T07:47:00.004-04:00

Graduation was amazing! Jackson has become such a little boy right be fore my eyes! I swore I would not cry but I was unable to keep that promise. The reason being the song that 2 ladies sang was incredible and the words touched me. I don't think there was a female dry eye in the house!

Jackson with his graduation cap

After Graduate with his teachers!!

Dan was sad that he was not able to be there but there was a meeting at work that he needed to be at, Luckily he was able to cover the picnic I had to miss the day before. Sadly though I was once again disappointed by my mom I had emailed her earlier in the week, the week prior I think to tell her about Jackson's graduation and invited her to come and then to have lunch with us afterward. I had heard from her so I dropped a quick email to her between meeting at work totally expecting to hear that yes she would be there only to be greeted by this response in my in box.

"No I am going to pass, have something else planned, sorry."

I am not going to lie I was pissed what is so damn important that you a retired person can't take 2 hours to see your grandchild? It's not like I dropped it on her last minute. Luckily I hadn't told Jackson at Gran coming so he wasn't looking for her. I really just don't get her! I didn't make a big deal or even respond but part of me feels I should let it go but the other part of me doesn't have the energy or desire to engage in an argument with her about it either.

Anyway sorry for the bitch but it was something related to the day I had to get off my chest.

Hope you all are enjoying the weekend!

Lucky Me!

2009-05-28T15:32:00.003-04:00

I really am a lucky girl! Why might you ask? Well this morning I woke up to flowers in my bath room and rose petals in my sink! Not one vase of flowers mind you! I had TWO! My wonderful husband just wanted me to know how much he loved me and I must say it was a very nice surprise. Look!

Also I am lucky because look at these 2 darling children! I look at this picture and I am shocked at how grown up they are starting to look. I can't wait for them to meet their new baby sister and I am very curious what she will look like! LOL

Belly shots 27 weeks.

2009-05-27T08:41:00.004-04:00

Check out the massive Belly on me! Yes I have hit 27 weeks and still counting. I am starting to slow down a bit only because I have to not because I want too! This time I thought I would share the bare belly shot along with the clothed belly shot. LOL

I am happy to report that I did take it easy over the long memorial Day weekend however I feel as though Ia m paying for it now because I have a ton of work to do at work. Also it doesn't help that this week is a really short week sine my baby is graduating from preschool on Friday!

I will be sure to have updates and pictures!

On the Road Again

2009-05-18T20:17:00.002-04:00

Ok I can't seem to get the song "On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson out of my head. Add to that I really am on the road again well you get the picture. I am so stressed out with this project I am working on at work. It seems as though our July deadline for launch is not going to happen and it is going to be more like August 1st, ok only a month off but only a month before my due date. So I am frantic to get all the work stuff I can done while still trying to balance family and pregnancy at the same time. Most days I feel like I am come out on top but then there are days like Friday where I feel I am failing miserably.

Friday was my 6 month check up. I had not been feeling so well the previous few days but chalked it up to just being tired. So my day begins with an email from a mom on my kid’s schools picnic committee of which I am a part of. Sparing you the ugly details I will simply say there seems to be "one in every bunch" I think you get my drift so after about 5 emails back forth with her and the entire committee which she copied I tackled work. Needless today it was not my day because I had received some news about my project again nothing I will bore you with that kinda made me feel like I am banging my head against a wall. All the while I have this pain in my side which is killing me. So I head off to the Doc he checks me out scolds (not really but I like the word) me for my elevated Blood Pressure, informs me that I will need to take my glucose test in 2 weeks and tells me I should not be surprised if I have gestational diabetes since I was close with the last one. He then proceeds to measure my big ole bump and i tell him I have been having some pain on one side (which is the side little miss likes to hang out on) He touches a spot on my belly and I about hit the roof. He says ah someone’s bladder is infected tests me and sure enough I have UTI news to me cause I have never had one before. I also get the finger wag because I was unable to give a large (if any) urine sample I was told in a funny way that ALL pregnant women should be able to pee on demand and clearly I am not getting enough fluid. So that my friends was my Friday!

The weekend progressed with Soccer games for the kids swim try outs for Lauren and me working my ass off trying to clear to the closest to move all of our crap out of the guest room which will now be my son’s room so his baby sister can have his room. Only for me to get on a plane today and head out for Blue Springs MO, home to David cook for all you Idol fans. I'm not an idol fan I just happen to see the sign on the highway on the way to the hotel.

So there is the scoop, thanks for all the great name suggestions and votes still not sure where we are going on the name front but I am sure we will figure it out soon. I am off to do some much needed work work.

Baby Names

2009-05-11T08:36:00.004-04:00

So as you all know I am expecting a baby girl the end of the August.

We have started to kick around some names and I am turning to you my loyal readers to help me out. Below are a list of first and middle names that have struck my fancy, notice I said my not our? They are in no particular order and the but I am interested to hear your thoughts on them. So send me your First and Middle name combinations. Also if there is a name you like that isn't here please let me know!

First names

Natalie
Caitlin
Chloe
Grace
Morgan
Isabelle
Emily
Logan

Middle names

Olivia
Grace
Anne (Ann)
Mary
Rose
Marie

Why I hate Mothers Day!

2009-05-08T11:21:00.001-04:00

I thought I would have the baby name post ready to go but I don't, instead I am going to do a very controversial post about Mothers Day.

I hate Mothers Day... now while you are scratching your head wondering why let me give you a little background. I love my kids and I love being a mom. I love my mothers days with them. However before I had my kids and after I got married I had a huge run in with my mom on Mother's day. It has set the tone for every Mothers day with her since.

See I was to go to my moms house for Mothers Day one year however I called to say I would be there an hour later than planned because I was planning to go to church. My mother lost it on me ,telling me not to bother and that she expected me there at the time I committed to. What ensued was a day full of angry phone calls and tears. I didn't go to my mom's house at all that day because I was angry at her for taking off on me and telling me to "not bother". In truth all I did was follow her direction. I am not proud of that fight and I have since grown up and learned to take a lot of what my mother says with a gain of salt. However, my mom has not let that go and further I don't think she gets that I too am a mother and now want to spend time with my family to celebrate my day as well.

She has said more than once since that day "don't do anything for Mothers day because it means nothing to me, you ruined it for me years ago." So with each upcoming Mothers Day I dread the holiday. I do send flowers and I make an attempt to include her in plans but it never feels right and somehow always turns out bad. This year is no exception.

My children have soccer games on Saturday, my mother though in the area, has never asked for a schedule or bothered to find out when they are playing yet has said that she is never invited. So with both the kids having games about an hour apart this weekend. I thought I would invite her to the games (burns me that I need to extend a personal invite) after the games I thought I could take her to lunch and give her the gift I had gotten her. So on Wednesday I asked did you get my email last week about the soccer games? Are you planning to come?. She responded with a tad of attitude and said "if the weather is bad I am not coming." To which I responded if it is bad the kids won't play. She went on to say "Well, even if it is drizzling I am not going, I am trying to get over a cold and don't need to get sick again we will have to see." Again I am crushed because I have tried and yet again failed. I can never win when it comes to time with my mom. So short story very long (sorry) I have learned to hate Mothers Day at least as it pertains to my mom.

Pregnancy update........belly shots 23 weeks

2009-05-07T09:57:00.006-04:00

So I am moving right along with this pregnancy, I survived my 3 weeks on the road and I am settling in to being home. However, I find I am more tired being home than I was on the road. Guess that is a sign that I am doing too much when I am home and forced to relax a bit when on the road.

So I took my standard picture yesterday and while taking it my son came in the bathroom and asked what I was doing. After I told him I was taking a picture of me and the baby he said I want to take your picture. So here is the picture I took

and here is the picture he took

As well as the up close and personal belly shot he took.

Monday baby names: I need you all to weigh in!

Whew what a weekend......

2009-05-04T16:32:00.000-04:00

First, is was great to be home, I love my home and I love being in it! Friday I worked from home which was wonderful because it allows me to get a lot more work done than when I am actually at work and it allows me to take the kids to and from school which I love! Nothing like having them squeal "Mommy" when I pick them up. Also Friday was my 10 year Anniversary and Dan and I enjoyed dinner out at the Capital Grill Restaurant! He gave me a lovely necklace and I gave him a watch. Still hard to believe 10 years has come and gone so quickly.

Saturday was Soccer day and we started at 9am followed by a trip to pick up the plants for our deck. I love being outside and planting things and watching them grow has become a lot more fun and less like work in my old age. OK it is still work but I enjoy them more so it balances out. Check out some of my before and after pictures.

Before

After

Dan was busy in the yard laying topsoil and grass seed, he was so tired on Saturday that he feel asleep at 8:30 a record for my night owl husband. Sunday was a lazy rainy day filled with sorting cleaning and organizing in the house. I think my nesting has definitely started because I feel the need to clean out everything. If I open a drawer and it has clutter watch out because in a matter of minutes I have it all dumped out ready to be organized.

I owe you all some update pictures of the prego belly. I certainly eel as though I am out there now. Also I am working on some posts about babies names and if it is OK to register for your 3rd baby stay tuned!

10 years where has the time gone???

2009-05-02T07:55:00.003-04:00

Yesterday May 1st, 2009 was my 10 year wedding anniversay. I wrote a post last year when I first started this blog. This year I decided instead of telling the world what I thougth of my hubby I decided to tell him.

So last night we went out to dinner (a great dinner) and while at dinner I gave him his gift and a card that had the following inside:

While I have been away the last few weeks I have thought about what to get you for our anniversary. Each time I thought about it I came up empty. Then one day I thought I should just simply write down how I feel and maybe an idea would come to me.

It is still very hard for me to believe that 10 years has come and gone so quickly. I have had time to think about the last 10 years and what I kept coming back to is how much you have given me. Sure there are the material things like jewelry, cars, J a beautiful home and other material stuff (which are all great by the way) but you have given me much much more than that.

First, you have given me your trust and love, to me that is huge! You know my life story and I have few people, if any beside you that have given me that honor. You have given me the gift of 2 ½ (at the time of this letter) children. Who I am constantly in awe of, they seem to be the perfect blend of you and I and I feel they will forever be the legacy or our love. You have given me hope. Hope to dream of things I never thought possible. You have given me self-confidence and a sense of worth, hearing from you things like "I have a hot wife" or "you look beautiful" or simply "of course you can do it” gives me strength beyond words.

I can honestly say that when we married, I did not know how truly blessed I was to have found you. I was caught up, as most young brides are, in the fairytale that was finding price charming and the wedding which told the world, I had found him. I knew we had something special however it has been in the last 10 years that I have begun to realize just how special.
I love you with all my being and you are my one and only soul mate and I look forward to a lifetime of anniversaries with you.
All my love, Steph

A day for me….

2009-04-30T19:02:00.003-04:00

So this past week I have been at a work conference and much to my surprise we were given an afternoon and evening off. What is a girl to do? Normally I would use the time to catch up on all my emails and work related stuff instead I took the company up on their offer to pay for a day at the spa. So I, being 5 and ½ months pregnant, had a Prego massage and a facial. It was sheer heaven! I was pampered for nearly 2 and a half hours. After which I went to the pool for some much needed sun on my lily white body. I am sure that someone poolside thought for a moment they were in Fl at Seas world and not at the Bellagio due to the Shamu sighting on the poolside deck!

I realized as I took a few hours for me how much I missed my me time. Sure my me time use to be running but since being pregnant I have not been able to have that. So it was nice to take care of me for a change. I swear this place was like right out of a movie set.

Airlines still just don’t get it.....….

2009-04-21T21:35:00.002-04:00

So here I sit on my flight from Phoenix Arizona to Omaha Nebraska. My ass hurts my legs are cramped, the flight attendant who is not a small person has bumped into me at least 3 times and looks at me like I am some obtruding monster in my seat and I still, as the captain so politely said, have “689 nautical miles” which equates to another half and a half of pain.

Ironically, I was reading Marlee Matiln's new book “I’ll Scream Later” I am going to do my screaming now because this my friends is sheer torture for a 5’9” 5 month pregnant woman. The man in the seat in front of me has all the leg room he could hope for as he is sitting in an exit row (yes I am bitter) add to that he has decided to recline his seat all the way back into my lap. He is so close to me that he either needs to ask me for a date or become my new gynecologist!!! The seat upon which my already big and growing ass is sitting in has no cushion. So not only does my airline not provide me blankets or pillows anymore they also have decided to skimp on the fluff for my seat cushion, Lord help me if I am truly suppose to use this as a floatation device because I will surely sink since all I will be holding on to is a board.

Every flight I have been on in the last 2 weeks has been oversold hence meaning totally full we are crammed in like cattle and most have little to no flying etiquette like the moron in front of me that insists on trying to push his seat back even further every couple of minutes. I know that times are tough and airlines have felt the pinch like all other industries but would it kill them to service the planes they do have??? I mean please a least making all of their always-sold seat a little more comfortable? Maybe take a seat or 2 out? The idea of paying nearly $500 for a seat only to be miserable is enough to make me want to take the train next time even if it takes me 3 days to get where I need to go.

If your reading this my journey finally came to an end and my feet are safely back on the ground where I hopefully can find room to move and breathe. So tell me have you flown recently and was it as miserable as I have described above??

Still here…just not here

2009-04-20T21:36:00.001-04:00

So I have been absent for a bit do to my hectic work and life schedule. I swear at times I think my life is secretly being filmed and at any moment I will break through the set and find my life to be like that of Drew Carey from the Truman show.

Last week I was away on business from Monday to late Wednesday worked a full and I mean full day Thursday only to work from home on Friday so I could squeeze in a needed Dr appt with my OB.

This weekend flew by with soccer and soccer team pictures and the need to get ready for my next business trip which I am on now. Yes, while I am flying I am blogging about my life. I'm telling you this is the stuff sitcoms are made of. I will be out of town this week thru Thursday only to arrive home and take a conference call then see my kids and head off to a non kid friendly family wedding Friday to Saturday in NJ. Ah but is doesn't end there I am then headed to Vegas again for work, for our National Sales conference only saving grace in that trip is that there will be some down time for me (I hope)

My brother-in-law said while we were visiting for Easter “geez you guys fight to see who gets to go to work” sadly that has been our life the last 2 months and I am stating to question it. Starting to question, am I doing the right thing by my kids and the one on the way. The next few months should be very telling in that regard.

Speaking of baby girl Whalen I finally broke down and bought her some stuff. I left my appointment on Friday thinking "my gosh I am over half way there and I have yet to buy a thing what happen if she comes early. "So I picked up a case of diapers, a case of wipes, cloth diapers (great burping cloths) a couple of sleepers, a package of onzies and a hat and booties. I'm ready now ….right???? Below are my finds I think I need to get my but in gear and start thinking about getting her room in order. Lord knows how long it is going to take me to find all the pieces to her crib in the storage room.

See you in a week or so by then I should have new belly pictures to post and some baby names for you to kick around.

We are having a .................................

2009-04-12T14:11:00.004-04:00

Baby Girl!!!!!! Below is her picture!I have a ton more sonogram pictures that I will scan once I have a chance to. I had to make do with what I could while traveling so this is a Blackberry Photo taken of the pictures they gave me then I sent them to myself so I could upload! The things I do for my blog.

My son Jackson who thought it was a girl to begin with, was a little disappointed when he found out it was actually a Girl. He kept telling the tech "no, it's a boy because look how much he is moving around and only boys move that much" My daughter was very happy but is still struggling with what we will name her since we vetoed her name of Butterfly!

We headed up to NY on Friday after my appointment and made it by the skin of our teeth but I will admit it was much better to take the train than to drive 8 plus hours on a holiday weekend.

As I type this I am on the Amtrak train back to DC with my daughter, my husband and son stayed behind to have Easter Dinner with his folks and his sisters family. I needed to head back to DC because Lauren has school tomorrow and I head out on a business trip to MO for 3 days. Below are pictures from the train rides for both the kids.

Jackson enjoying a hot dog in the Cafe car on the way to NY

Lauren with Sally the bear on the way home today

Speaking of the kids they have had a blast Lauren says she wants to go back to her Grandparents in the summer and Jackson seems to be having a blast with his cousins Will and Jack.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter holiday. Stay tuned for some upcoming posts on baby names!!!!

Thoughts rambling out of my head.......

2009-04-09T13:40:00.004-04:00

So I like to see who is reading my blog and what they are reading about and what I have found is that:

1) I have a lot of traffic and few comments so please let me know you are reading and not just blowing threw.

2) There are an awful lot of people out there who are interested in pregnant bellies at 14 weeks and close second is those who are interested in dump cake.

I have been doing some spring cleaning some might call it nesting but I know it is not nesting time yet so it is spring cleaning and becaue of my spring cleaning you are goig to the get the rare chance to see my blackberry pictures. These are the pictures that I take when I wish I had a camera so of course the quality is not that great!

Making a funny face at Jonny Rockets

I like to call this my Prince Harry with crazy hair shot

Enjoying some yummy Johnny Rockets Ice Cream

Lauren's Art work and writing from Artists and Authors night at school

My little dancer!

Tomorrow I head to the doctor for the "big sonogram" hubby has been trying to talk me into not finding out but I am just way to much of a type A, control freak not to find out. Plus I want to start buying some stuff for the baby and up to this point I have not bought a single thing!

Funny thing I have noticed this time around, with my first child I was buying non gender things from the time I knew I was pregnant the second child, well I held off till I was 3 months, this time I swear to you I have not gotten a thing!!! Maybe because this time around I have so much more on my plate then I did with the last 2, or as I like to tell people I am just more practical this time around. However, I really do need to get a move on because I have NOTHING for this kid. I thought I was done having kids and I gave away nearly everything.

My daughter has been in NY for the last week on spring break with her grandparents and I miss her terribly we are headed up there to get her after my appointment on Friday, I can't wait to give her a big squeeze! Have a great Easter weekend I will post Sono pictures when I get back!

19 week belly.....Boy or Girl what will it be?????

2009-04-07T12:03:00.000-04:00

Ok so Friday is the big day! No, I am not delivering the baby though I wish I was! No, Friday is the day we find out if we are having a Boy or a Girl. So I wanted to give you my bloggy friends the chance to weigh in. So let me know do you think it is a girl or a boy?? I have even provided my halfway (19 weeks almost halfway) point pregnancy picture for your to ogle at!

Me at 19 weeks, my son Jackson

who is 4 1/2 took this picture

Self portairt at 19 weeks

Full frontal view at 19 weeks (wow)

I am a soccer Mom!

2009-04-06T15:41:00.004-04:00

This weekend was the season opener for both of my kids soccer teams. This season is a bit different from last because it is truly a family affair. I am the Division Coordinator for my daughter division which means I form the teams and communicate information such as picture day, fundraising and general correspondence to the coaches. Add to that I am also the Asst. Coach of my daughters team! My husband not to be out down is the Head Coach of our sons team. I think we are both a bit crazy since we both work full time demanding jobs! But it is all about the kids and being involved with them. So this weekend was the test and we made it through. The kids had a ball and here are the pictures to show it.

Go Team !!!!

Me in the pink pullover (do I have team spirit or what?)

and Lauren to the Right

Jackson's game face

Coach and son ready for action

Birthday Party Etiquette

2009-03-31T09:44:00.002-04:00

So Sunday we had my daughters birthday party she invited about 10 kids of her choosing. Most of the children I knew in one way or another, so I didn't anticipate any surprises. Boy was I wrong!

The party started at 1pm and the ids started to arrive about 5 minutes of 1. The first child to arrive was a child whose parents I had met once before at their daughters birthday party. They said their hellos and stood around a bit till some other children showed up. The mother then came to me and said what time should I pick up Amy** (**not her real name) oh 3:30 should be good I said. All the while thinking she was going to pick up her husband and her daughter. Oh no! She and her husband left! Now I am not sure about all you moms out there but I am not sure that a pool party is the best party to leave your child unattended at, maybe it's just me.

So the kids proceed to the locker room where young Amy announces she doesn't have a towel (only a cover up) and doesn't know how to swim. Ok now the thoughts in my mind are racing. These parents left their child with me whom they have only met once in passing AND their child doesn't swim??? WTF

Other parents were appalled and I must say I was too. Thankfully the pool we chose had a decent shallow end where the kids played with the dumping buckets and water geysers. But if these kids which most all knew how to swim were to have moved to deeper water that could have spelled trouble. Mind you this is a public pool with lifeguards and many many other kids.

The parents came at 3:30 to pick up their child, the child took off from the party room were in once she saw her parents and my husband rushed after her to make sure she was Ok and that her parents were truly there. He said he casually said that he was unaware that Amy couldn't swim and that they were leaving her unattended at the party. He said they both gave him this blank stare as if to say of course we would leave her.

Needless to say I have made a mental note and I will not allow Lauren to ever be unattended with them. What are your thoughts were the parents out of line or am I totally over reacting?

Happy 7th Birthday Lauren

2009-03-30T14:03:00.003-04:00

To my precious 7 year old daughter

Words cannot express the joy you bring to my life, you make me want to be a better person and you have taught me the true meaning of a mothers unconditional love. I hope I can lead through your childhood journey to adulthood and that you come from it a strong independent woman. I love you with all my heart and cherish the day you came into my life! Happy Birthday Lauren !

My sweet Lauren turn 7 today, we celebrated by having a pool (indoor) party for her and her friends yesterday and she had a blast, today she is celebrating with her entire class during lunch with the cupcakes I dropped off before heading to work. I am amazed each and everyday how she is growing before my eyes!

17 weeks ....Baby Number 3

2009-03-23T12:55:00.001-04:00

The bun in my oven is cooking just as it should, however it seems I put a little too much yeast in my recipe since I gained a whopping 5lbs this month! I need to remove that feed bag from around my neck and get back on that tread mill or I will have gained 50Lbs by the end!

I was able to hear the heart beat and that always brings a huge smile to my face. So since another month has passed I will post a belly shot of me at 17 weeks.

Yup I know it is starting to really pop out there! Just think what I will look like come August!

Sunday night...... getting ready for the week

2009-03-22T21:55:00.000-04:00

The weekend flew by as it usually does, I was able to get a lot done and find some time for me which is unusual.

My college basketball brackets are kicking butt, I am number 2 in my pool of 100 people! Not bad for a chick huh? I so do love this time of year!!!!

My google reader looks like it is about to explode (724 unread blog posts), I plan to do some much needed reading tomorrow once I get back from my OBGYN/baby check up. I am sure things are fine but I always worry. Last week was a rough week for me and my blood pressure was a little elevated so I am hoping for a lower reading tomorrow.

So I am still here and I promise to visit all my bloggy friends tomorrow!

MWAH!!!!

Struggling a bit......

2009-03-19T12:09:00.001-04:00

As I have written before I have good days and bad days as far as this pregnancy goes today has been a bad one. Actually the last couple of days have been bad ones emotional not physically. Several woman who write some of the blogs I read are pregnant one lost her baby on Monday and another had a pretty scary 24 hours after a Dr. sent her for tests, thankfully all seems to be going well for her now. Last night a friend who I used to be very close to lost her baby at almost 19 weeks.

I am struggling today because she and I have not been close for quite some time for many reasons some selfish, some not. She recently reached out to me via one of the many social networking sites out there to say hi and say she was happy to see that I was doing well. We exchanged some emails back and forth and she shared with me that she was pregnant with her first, and I shared with her I also was pregnant. She was very excited to start a family and seemed genuinely excited and happy for me as well. She was due 3 weeks before me. We had not exchanged emails since as I don't think either of us was ready or in some respects willing to rekindle the friendship that once was. We were jsut contenet in touching base.

Last night she emailed me the news that she and her husband had lost the baby and my heart broke. I know the heartache of miscarriage but I can't begin to understand the heartache of losing a child this far along in a pregnancy.

I responded the only way I knew how by saying how sorry I was for her loss but I can't help but feel I should do more. As I said I used to be very close to this person and as time went on we grew apart. I just hate to see people in pain and the pain of losing a child seems far to great. I pray that her family and close friends embrace her and I will try my best to do what I can from afar.

Happy St. Patricks Day!

2009-03-17T09:31:00.004-04:00

It's St. Patrick's Day and I for one am Irish! My maiden name was O'Toole, it was great when I was younger and I wanted to get into bars on St. Patrick's day! These day's though it is about the kids and the kids have a blast talking about leprechauns and pots of gold at the end of the rainbow.

This morning we kept our tradition going with green milk and green pancakes as well as our silly mom and kids family photos, Lauren wanted to make sure the baby got in on the action so she insisted on taking a picture of my belly ! Check us out.

Me and the kids St. Patrick's Day morning

My 2 irish cuties

Jackson digging his hat

My Irish twins (not really but they look like they could be)
Me 17 weeks pregnant showing off the belly!

March Madness is here!!

2009-03-16T09:36:00.001-04:00

I love this time of year, I played basketball in high school and I have been an avid college basketball fan as long as I can remember. So I am hosting an office pool and I am participating in a couple others just to keep things interesting. I know, I am a nut and you really are never sure what to expect from me are you? So forgive me if I am MIA later this week, I will be tuned to the Internet and the TV trying to get my fix in.

If you are looking to participate in a pool let me know and I will send you the link, it is only $5 to enter.

I feel like I am walking through molasses......

2009-03-12T09:22:00.000-04:00

The idea of walking through molasses would indicate that things are moving slow and in some respects they are in others they are not. I have a whole host things going on in my brain right now to the point I feel like a bit of a crazy person one minute I am up one minute I am down.

Work has been super crazy I am a little over 4 months from the launch of my new division and things are not lining up as I had hoped so I am having to really push people which of course does to make me the fav among colleague, add to that I felt the incredible need to yesterday grill my boss as to when my promotion is coming. I of course totally second guessed myself on the way home as to why I even had the conversation for fear it makes me look like I am whining which I HATE.

Being pregnant has it's ups and downs as we all know. One day I feel great the next I don't, add to that my concern that everything is Ok with this pregnancy it is a roller coaster I would soon like to get off. I don't remember being this paranoid if you will about the health and development of my other 2 pregnancies. I just want the baby to be here so I can stop worrying all the time.

Home life, well it is again like molasses just going through the motions. Dan is not at all happy at his new job and while part of me thought it was just the military to corporate America. It seems to me more then that and I can sense he is just simply not happy however he feels a huge amount of pressure to stick it out for the obvious reasons the economy, not wanted to be a quitter the list goes on and on? Jackson our youngest is putting us, mainly me through my paces seems that everything in his eyes is an negotiation from what book we read before bed to what is being served for dinner. I know this is a phase but Celia our nanny is not helping the situation because she gives in to him ALL THE TIME!

I guess as I look back on what I have written so far it appears as though all in all I am just in a bumming place right now. I am not sure what to do, I know part of it is just life and we all need to deal, part of it though seems overburdening like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I am well aware that some of this may be the directly result that I have stopped taking my medicine for my mild depression. I stopped because I did not want to harm he baby, I am not risk taker when it comes to medicines and fetal development someone could tell me all day long it would be fine and I still wouldn't want to take meds. I don't even like taking cold meds pregnant. However if something doesn't give soon I feel I will need to go back to my Dr and have a conversation.

Thanks for listening.

Since when does love equal fists to the face???

2009-03-06T12:42:00.001-05:00

I don't really voice my opinion on pop culture much when I write on this blog. However the media circus that surrounds this Chris Brown Rihanna issue has really started to piss me off.

I am trying to wrap my arms around why a young lady with her whole life in front of her, a career that is white hot and a the support of a half the world would feel she needs or wants to go back to that clown. I wouldn't even consider going back to this jerk of a human being. I would kick him to the curb in a hot second. No boy or man should ever even have it in his mind that after he hits a woman that he will be forgiven and taken back. He not only hit Rihanna he beat the living crap out of her face. (if you haven't seen the picture google it, out of respect for her I will not show it here) The police report gives details of him hitting her while driving, to the point she had blood poling in her mouth spraying onto her clothes and the interior of the car. Nothing says love like a right handed fist to the face over and over again! NOT

HELLO Rihanna.......that is not someone who loves you!!!!! If he did he wouldn't even think to lay a hand on you! I can only hope that someone in Rihanna's camp sits her down and talk some sense into her. She may be an adult but she is not an adult with years of life experience under her belt and she still needs guidance.The message that she is sending to young fans and the women who are currently being batter is the wrong one. She needs to stand up and tell Chris Brown to hit the road and then watch as the justice system applies the appropriate punishment for his crime(s). That to me seems like the most sensible thing to do....call me crazy!!!

Pregnancy and Running

2009-03-05T13:18:00.005-05:00

I was really getting into the running gig when I found out I was pregnant. I ran my first ever 10k in October of 2008 the Marine Corps Marathon 10K from that point I was bitten by the running bug! I then ran the Turkey Trot 10K and the Jingle Bell
10K, I was well on my way to bigger and better races.

I am super excited about being a mom again, but I must admit I am a little down about giving up my intense work outs. Before you scroll to the bottom and hit the comment button and tell me I can still work out....I know that!!! See the thing is my heart rate before I was pregnant was higher then normal. I had my doctor check it out and all was fine I am just one of those folks whose heart rate takes off when they work out. So when I became pregnant I knew that my works outs would be drastically reduced since baby can't handle a heart rate above 145. Sadly that is a fast walk jog for me, I have been able to jog a bit on the treadmill but I totally have lost my ability to run outside per Dr's. orders.

So I am a bit melancholy, I still work out though only twice a week compared to my 4 or more time a week. I miss pounding the payment and working up a good sweat and I am shocked to admit I can't wait to get back into it. So I have set a goal for myself, one that may be a little difficult but I think I can do it.

I signed up for the Disney World Half Marathon January 9th 2010! For those of you doing the math that is 4 months after baby #3's birth! See it could be me posing for this picture in 2010!!
I have a plan, hopefully baby #3 cooperates! I have had easy births with #1 and #2, day 2 home from the hospital with #2 I mowed the yard while Dan watched #2 because I "needed" to get out of the house. So my plan is to start working out 2 weeks after baby. I will work my way up to the Marine Corps 10K then run the Jingle Bell 10K in Dec and be ready for the Disney half Marathon in Jan. Anyone want to join me? There are still spots left!!!

Go ahead now you can comment and tell me how crazy I am!

i heart faces.... Elaine it's all your fault!

2009-03-03T14:53:00.004-05:00

So I was reading Elaine's Blog when I came across the contest that she entered for Children's Messy Faces at i heart faces.

Well I have a photo that I think epitomizes a messy face as a matter of fact I have it on my fridge and have for years! So I too am going to enter the contact and Elaine it is all your fault! hee hee.

So here is my amateur photo taken several years ago after Dad had been on duty!

Snow day!

2009-03-03T12:43:00.004-05:00

We had a snow day yesterday....... finally! After about 3 years of little to no snow we finally got a nice dumping which helped me not to feel so guilty when I decided to stay home and work so I could be with the kiddos. We had a blast outside for about an hour which was all I could stand and I think all they could stand as I heard little in the way of complaints when I said it was time to leave.

Check out our good time!

This is what I woke up to and it was still coming down!

The men of my neighborhood helping me out and plowing my driveway since Dan is out of town on business. I love my neighbors!

Lauren after flying down the hill!

Lauren and Jackson making their way to the top of the hill.

Jackson trying to pick up speed.

Jackson all bundled up and going fast.

Kids... say the most amazing things.

2009-03-01T12:49:00.003-05:00

I have to share with all of you what just happened a few hours ago...

This afternoon as I dropped Dan off at the train station for a week long business trip, he opened the back-seat passengers door to give the kids a hug and a kiss good bye. Jackson said "I love you" and handed him a card he had made. Dan shut the door and as he shut the door Jackson yelled "wait I have something to tell you" Dan opened the door and Jackson said "May God be with you Daddy" My heart melted and tears began flow down my face. Dan came to my side of the car to say good bye and said to me "by your reaction I can tell you didn't prompt him to say that," I smiled and said no that was all him. I asked Jackson as I pulled away why he said what he said to Dan and he said because he wanted Daddy to be safe on his trip!

OK I m sure we all have these heart warming stories but for my 4 1/2 year a old to do that unprompted I thought was amazing. I am so lucky to be his mommy!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Pregnant Belly..... 14 weeks

2009-02-27T11:10:00.002-05:00

OK So I never did this with my last 2 pregnancies and part of my is glad but part of me is sad. Glad because I know I was huge and who wants to see a huge pregnant lady ? NOT ME! Sad because I have nothing to document that time of my life. So I have decided to post a picture once a month of my growing belly until I deliver, this way #3's life will be documented from the very beginning (well at lease close to it).

So without further ado, here I am all fat and by the looks of it not so happy at 14 weeks. No comments about the pissed of look on my face please! :) I promise to smile next time!

I wish I could celebrate half birthday's!

2009-02-25T13:55:00.004-05:00

So on Monday my precious Jackson turned 4 1/2 why are we celebrating 4 1/2? Well his preschool believes that everyone should have a special day. So if their birthday falls in the Summer like his does, then he gets to celebrate his half birthday. I didn't want to make a big deal of it and really didn't talk about it much if at all at home. Instead I told him Monday that today was a special day and that I was going to drop him off and come see him during school. I arrived at snack time with a power ranger cake in hand and was treated to a wonderful rendition of Happy Birthday to You with cha cha cha's. He was so happy to have me there and told everyone see it's my mommy!

Here is my big boy, Happy 4 1/2 birthday Jackson! Now stop growing up so darn fast!!!!

The child care dilemma

2009-02-24T13:19:00.002-05:00

A hot topic of discussion in our house recently has been childcare, as you may know we have a Nanny/babysitter Celia who has been with us since June. Celia will not be able to stay and care for the newborn as the steps in our house will make it to difficult for her to get around with the baby safely. However that doesn't make the conversation of letting her go or the task of finding anyone any easier.

We have had endless hours of conversation about daycare vs. a nanny vs. an au pair. All have the their pluses and minus and I am leaning towards a nanny in the home which would ease things for us with regard to the kids being pick up and dropped off at school but then the question is how do you find the right person. Celia was refereed to us by our close friends and neighbors.

Yesterday I worked from home in between appointments at the OBGYN and my son's preschool to celebrate his 4 1/2 year birthday (more on this tomorrow). While I was sitting at the desk in our home office I noticed that Dan had left me an article from the Washington post. It struck me because the picture associated with the article was of a newborn in the palms of someone's hand. I read on to find it was about childcare and was titled "Who Should Care for This Child?" check it out

I read this article and felt as if it were written just for me as a way to say "it is ok, it will all work out,stop feeling as though you are on an island alone because your not! " I felt compelled to send an email to Thank the author for her article. Something I don't' normally do. If I hear back I will be sure to let you know.

Now I know the blogshpere is made of both stay at home moms (SAHM) and working moms (WM), so to all of you I ask what do you think the pros and cons of day care vs. in home care are???

It's official I am in love again....

2009-02-20T11:44:00.006-05:00

Ok let me be clear before I get a bunch of hate mail. I have always been in love with the idea of baby #3. However I have suffered set backs in the past and I don't like to get my hopes up too high before I know things are good.

So.... this morning I had my 1st trimester genetic screening and everything was great baby #3 (I really need to come up with a better name) was doing well and measured perfectly to my due date. The baby's little arms and legs were moving all around as if to say "Hi Mom and Dad how ya doing" It was a real treat to see the 3d images since this technology came along right after I had Jackson.

Below are the first of many family photos of Baby #3

I hope you all have a great weekend, I will be on the hunt for cheap maternity clothes again!

Clothes for the pregnant woman.....

2009-02-19T09:27:00.003-05:00

Ok it has not been that long since I wore maternity clothes and not all that long ago I remember passing by the Liz Lang display at Target and thinking what cute clothes they have. I of course have no maternity clothes I gave them all away thinking for sure I was done. Ha ha!Honestly even if I wasn't done at the time, I don't know how much I would have used those clothes since some of them would be nearly 8 years old now and clearly out of fashion...because I am such a fashion maiden! NOT!!!!

Anyhow I have not been able to find any of those clothes I thought were cute and even worse I am at that awkward stage of.... my pants are too tight but the maternity pants are too big. I stand in my closet in disgust every morning wondering what on earth I am going to wear.

I went shopping last weekend and found very little that interested me probably because most of what I need now is winter in nature and what they are selling is spring and summer stuff. I also have the joy of having to find and fund 2 maternity wardrobes one for work and one for the weekend.

So I began the point and click on line at stores like Old Navy, Kohls, Anne Taylor Etc. found some cute stuff but now the frugal tightwad in me doesn't want to spend a ton because I won't be in these that long. So what is a girl to do???

EBAY!!!!! Ebay was not the place to find maternity clothes when I was pregnant eons ago (ok it was only 5 years but in kids years taht is a lifetime). As a matter of fact if you had mentioned ebay I would have been so grossed out because I would have naturally assumed you wanted me to wear someones used stuff, a strangers stuff no less. Well, I checked Ebay out and found there are people (I assume women) who buy new stuff cheap and then sell it to poor schmucks like me in lots (groups). It's like having a personal shopper granted I have no idea if the stuff will really fit but the upside is if it doesn't I too can sell it!

Truthfully I think that the Old Navy's, Kohls and Anne Taylor retail stores should send me some free stuff to wear 9Size Large or size 12) and I will blog about how wonderful their clothes are.....seems like an even trade don't you think??????

No humpty dumpty's this weekend.....

2009-02-17T12:32:00.005-05:00

Well, I am happy to say that we all made it back from our ski weekend in one piece. Not a broken bone or bruise to be had on any of us! My kids have definitely taken to the sport of skiing! Both of them were in Ski school for 2 days which allowed them to get some lessons and brush up on their skills while it gave mom and dad some much needed ski or down time. Yes I did ski, I am a very athletic person and the idea of me sitting at the house while everyone was having fun was not my idea of fun. I was careful and I must say I enjoyed myself....well except for the sicking in I had to do to get my ski pants on but still it wasn't so bad.

It turns out that Lauren is our speed demond and loved going as fast as she could downt he hill, yes she fell ....a lot! but she didn't seem to mind she was all smiles and not very happy that we had to leave. Jackson was my controld skier he never let himself get out of control or go to fast, my kind of kid!

Below are some pictures from our weekend, we went with 2 other families in our neighborhood and we had a blast!

And we're off......

2009-02-13T07:18:00.001-05:00

Skiing that is. Last year we took a trip to Seven Springs, PA to go skiing over the long weekend it was a blast! So we decided to do it again this year and invited a few more friends so us and 2 other families will head out about noon today to hit the slopes for the weekend.

I'm bummed that I won't get to do all the fun runs everyone else is doing but I will still try to make the most of it. The kids are wicked excited about ski school. We had them go last year since they had never been skiing and they loved it and did very well I might add.

So I will be MIA the rest of the weekend, enjoy your long weekend and stay warm and out of the wind!

Below are the pictures form last year!

Is everything really ok??

2009-02-11T05:59:00.002-05:00

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by this pregnancy and extremely worried, you would think since I have been through this twice before that I would some what of an old pro. Not at all.... I feel like a young new mother worried about everything all the time! I am struggling to remember what it was like the last 2 times. I am constantly worried that I have or will miscarry especially now that we have let the cat out of the bag. I haven't gained much weight only like 3 lbs but my body has changed (pants are a bit tight). Morning sickness is gone..thanks goodness but that to makes me wonder is everything ok.

I have a sonogram on the 20th and a regular OBYN appt on the 23rd those appt seem eons away and I can't help but worry. Please tell me this is normal and I am just over reacting? I am usually cool as a cucumber when it comes to stuff but this have gotten me all worked up and worried and I hate feeling this way,

So ladies I am turning to you my online wealth of knowledge to tell me I am nutty, normal or something in between.

This and that!

2009-02-09T17:42:00.001-05:00

So the weekend was all a blur as seems to be much of my life these days since I am so flipping tired all of the time. I guess there is a reason why the man upstairs lets you forget how hard it can be to create a child!

We finally had a bit of a break from the cold weather this weekend and the kids were able to get out on their bikes for the first time in 2009. However my sweet Lauren realized that her head grew since the early Fall and is in need of a new helmet. Yet that didn't stop my little biker from getting on her (little bike and going for a spin with her brother and one of the neighborhood boys! Check out her outfit. Yea that is a bathrobe she is wearing! She and her brother had just come back from the pool when they saw the other little boy riding in his bike when we pulled up. so there she was!

My son who has not had a chance to try out his new bike from Gran that he received for Christmas was ticketed and so was I because he took to it very quickly my guess is that by the end of the summer he will be on 2 wheels not 4! Hopefully I will post a little more often once fatigue let's the death grip it has on me go. This week I plan to post about my maternity shopping experience, stay tuned.